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Summer Brides: Bride Wanted / Hasty Wedding
Debbie Macomber
Perfect for fans of Maeve Binchy' - CandisTaking a chance on love could be worth the risk…Chase Goodman has three weeks to find a bride, so he takes out an advert: Bride Wanted. Except when Chase ends up rescuing Lesley Campbell, he unexpectedly falls head over heels. Too bad Lesley is the only woman he’s met who isn’t looking for a husband…Recently single Claire Gilroy has no intention of falling in love at a Las Vegas wedding…especially with gorgeous, town outcast Reed Tonasket. Yet, twenty-four hours later she has a ring on her finger and a husband! Has Claire just made a big mistake or could this be the beginning of something wonderful?Make time for friends. Make time for Debbie Macomber.
Make time for friends. Make time for
DEBBIE MACOMBER
CEDAR COVE 16 Lighthouse Road 204 Rosewood Lane 311 Pelican Court 44 Cranberry Point 50 Harbor Street 6 Rainier Drive 74 Seaside Avenue 8 Sandpiper Way 92 Pacific Boulevard 1022 Evergreen Place 1105 Yakima Street A Merry Little Christmas (featuring 1225 Christmas Tree Lane and 5-B Poppy Lane)
BLOSSOM STREET The Shop on Blossom Street A Good Yarn Susannah’s Garden (previously published as Old Boyfriends) Back on Blossom Street (previously published as Wednesdays at Four) Twenty Wishes Summer on Blossom Street Hannah’s List A Turn in the Road Thursdays at Eight
Christmas in Seattle
Falling for Christmas
A Mother’s Gift
Angels at Christmas
A Mother’s Wish
Be My Valentine
Happy Mother’ s Day
On a Snowy Night
Summer in Orchard Valley
Summer Wedding Bells
This Matter of Marriage
Summer Brides
THE MANNINGS The Manning Sisters The Manning Brides The Manning Grooms
THE DAKOTAS Dakota Born Dakota Home Always Dakota The Farmer Takes a Wife (Exclusive short story)
Summer Brides
Bride Wanted
Hasty Wedding
Debbie Macomber
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
CONTENTS
Cover (#uadfe230d-aee6-51f2-8fff-c6e937499a18)
Title Page (#u8a064dd8-79cb-5507-a396-1dea2a4c64ed)
Bride Wanted
Dedication (#ubfd06b2b-1e8c-5109-964e-a7f78ab6588a)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Hasty Wedding
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Endpages (#litres_trial_promo)
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
Bride Wanted (#ulink_c36a04e5-7c78-5a0b-b863-f2e516f71fa1)
For Eric, Kurt, Neal and Clay Macomber—the other Macombers.
Love, Aunt Debbie.
One (#u239a6127-62a5-5f95-acbb-9e2f453bfff4)
Julia Conrad wasn’t a patient woman at the best of times. She paced her office, repeatedly circling her high-gloss black-lacquer-and-brass desk. She felt so helpless. She should’ve gone to Citizenship and Immigration Services with Jerry rather than wait for their decision.
Rubbing her palms together, she retracted the thought. She was a wreck and the Immigration people would have instantly picked up on that and it could hurt their case. She couldn’t help being anxious. The future of the company rested on the outcome of today’s hearing. Ultimately she was the one responsible for the welfare of Conrad Industries, the business her grandfather had started thirty years earlier.
In an effort to calm herself she stared out the window. The weather seemed to echo her mood. There was a ceiling of black clouds, thunder roared and a flash of lightning briefly brightened the room. The lights flickered.
Julia’s reflection was mirrored in the window and she frowned, mesmerized by the unexpected sight of herself. Her dark hair was swept back from her face and secured with a gold clasp. She wore a dark suit with a pale gray blouse, which—in her view, anyway—conveyed tasteful refinement. She looked cool, calm and collected, but inside she was a mass of tension and nerves. At thirty she had a pleasant face when she smiled, but she hadn’t been doing much of that lately. Not in the past three years. Her cheekbones were high, her jaw strong, but it was her eyes that told the story. Her eyes revealed vulnerability and pain.
The image of herself distressed Julia and she hurriedly glanced away. Sighing, she circled her desk once more, silently praying for patience. She was determined to get the company back on its feet, to overcome the odds they faced. Jerry, her brother, had worked with her, sacrificing his personal life the way she had hers. They’d met with a handful of small successes. And now this.
Both Julia and Jerry were determined to revive Conrad Industries. Julia owed her father that much. Jerry had shown such faith in her by volunteering his services. If their situations were reversed, she wasn’t sure she would’ve been so forgiving. But her brother had stuck by her through all the turmoil.
Slowly she lowered her gaze, disturbed by that revelation. However, she didn’t have the time or the inclination to worry about it. If she ever needed a cool head and a cooler heart, it was now. Two years’ worth of innovative research was about to be lost because they’d allowed the fate of the company to hinge on the experiments and ideas of one man. Aleksandr Berinski was a brilliant Russian biochemist. Jerry had met him some years earlier while traveling in Europe and convinced Julia he was the answer to their problems. Her brother was right; Alek’s ideas would revolutionize the paint industry. Bringing him to the United States had been a bold move on their part, but she hadn’t been sorry. Not once.
Hiring Aleksandr Berinski from Russia and moving him to Seattle—it was the biggest risk Conrad Industries had ever taken. Now the fate of the company rested in the hands of a hard-nosed official.
Julia wondered again if she should’ve attended the hearing at the district office of Citizenship and Immigration. She’d done everything within her power to make sure Aleksandr’s visa would be extended. She’d written a letter explaining his importance to the company and included documentation to prove that Aleksandr Berinski was a man of distinct merit and exceptional ability.
Jerry, who was a very good corporate attorney, had spent weeks building their case. Professional certifications, affidavits, a copy of Aleksandr’s diploma and letters of reference filled Jerry’s briefcase.
Her brother had told her there could be problems. It was often difficult to renew an H-2 visa, the type Aleksandr had been granted when he’d entered the United States. The H-2 is one of temporary employment. He’d warned her that if it looked as though employment might become permanent, then Immigration and the Labor Department would be reluctant to extend the visa.
On top of all that, the case had been assigned to a particularly difficult bureaucrat. Jerry had warned her that the agent hearing their case might decide Alek had applied for the temporary visa knowing the job was really permanent and refuse to grant an extension on principle.
She checked her watch again and exhaled with impatience. Only a few minutes had passed. Annoyed with herself for the uncharacteristic display of anxiety, she sat down on her white leather chair. Everything was neatly arranged on the polished black desk. A small marble pen stand was next to the phone. The address and appointment books were perfectly aligned with everything else. Behind the desk stood her computer table, the company website pulled up, its logo prominent. Julia liked to keep her office and her world under control.
When her phone rang, the sound caught her off guard. She grabbed the receiver. “Jerry?”
“Sis,” Jerry’s voice greeted her. “I’m on my cell. I thought you’d want to know the decision as soon as possible.”
“Yes, please.”
“I’m afraid it didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. They’ve decided not to renew Alek’s visa.”
His words felt like a kick in the stomach. She closed her eyes and waited until the shock had passed. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known the likelihood of this verdict. The fact that Aleksandr had no proof of a permanent residence in Russia didn’t help. In the eyes of Immigration Services that was a red light indicating he didn’t intend to return. Furthermore, she and Jerry were dealing with a large, complex bureaucracy. In a fit of worry, Julia had tried to contact the agency herself, reason with them. She’d spent nearly an hour on the phone and hadn’t spoken to a single person. She was forced to listen to one recording after another. Press a number on the phone, listen, press another one, then another. She quickly became lost in a hopeless tangle of instructions and messages.
“When will he have to leave?”
“By the end of the week, when his current visa expires.”
“That soon?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Jerry, what are we going to do?”
“I’ll talk to you about it as soon as we get back to the office,” her brother said in reassuring tones. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a contingency plan.”
Nice of him to mention it now, Julia mused. He might’ve said something this morning and saved her all this grief.
Ten minutes later, her intercom buzzed; her assistant announced that Jerry was in her outer office. Julia asked Virginia to send him in and waited, standing by the window.
Jerry entered and Aleksandr Berinski followed. Although Aleksandr had been working for Conrad Industries for nearly two years, she’d only talked to him a handful of times. Even those conversations had been brief. But she’d read his weekly reports and been excited by the progress he was making. If he was allowed to continue, Julia didn’t doubt that his innovations would put Conrad Industries back on a firm financial footing.
Julia and Jerry, but primarily Julia, had taken on the impossible task of resurrecting the family business, literally from the ashes. Three years before, the plant and adjacent warehouse had been severely damaged by fire; fortunately, it hadn’t spread to the lab and the offices. Because of the rebuilding they’d had to do, she’d decided the line of paints Aleksandr was developing would be called Phoenix.
To be so close to success and lose it all now was more than she could bear. For three long, frustrating years, she’d hung on to the business by wheeling and dealing, making trades and promises.
Being aggressive and hardworking had come naturally to her. Jerry possessed the same determination and had been a constant help. If she was cold and sometimes ruthless, she credited it to Roger Stanhope. She’d needed to be, but Julia didn’t have any more tricks up her sleeve once Aleksandr returned to Russia.
She feared that losing the business would be a fatal blow to her grandmother. No one knew better than Julia how fragile Ruth’s health had become these past few months.
“You said you have a contingency plan.” She spoke crisply, the sound of her steps muffled by the thick wheat-colored carpet as she stalked back to her desk. She leaned forward and averted her gaze from Aleksandr’s.
The man disturbed her in ways she didn’t understand. He was tall and lanky with impeccable manners. His face wasn’t handsome the way Roger’s had been, but rawboned and lean. His eyes were dark, the brows arched slightly, and in him she read strength and character. Unwillingly she found her own eyes drawn to his, and the shadow of a smile crept across Aleksandr’s face. She focused her attention on Jerry.
“There is one way,” her brother said, with obvious reluctance.
“This isn’t the time to play guessing games. Tell me what you’re thinking,” she snapped, hardly believing he could be holding something back. Jerry knew as well as she did what kind of predicament the company was in.
Her brother set down his briefcase and motioned toward the leather chair. “Perhaps you should take a seat.”
“Me?” She noted that his voice was strained, which surprised her almost as much as his request.
“You, too, Alek,” Jerry advised as he moved to the opposite end of her office.
Julia turned toward him and tried to read his features in the gloom of late afternoon. The storm had darkened the sky, stationing shadows around the room until it resembled a dungeon, Julia thought.
“Whatever you have to say, please say it, Jerry. You’ve never worried about phrasing before.”
Jerry’s eyes traveled from Julia to Aleksandr, and she saw that his cheeks were flushed. He sighed. “There’s only one legal way I know to keep Aleksandr in the country.” Slowly he leveled his gaze on Julia. “You could marry him.”
“I was hoping you’d stop by and see me.” Julia’s grandmother, Ruth Conrad, spoke softly, stretching out one hand. She was sitting up in bed, her thin white hair arranged in a chignon of sorts. Ruth was pale, her skin a silky shade of alabaster, her eyes sunken now with age, revealing only a hint of the depth and beauty that had been hers in years past. She was frail and growing more so daily.
The cool facade Julia wore in her role with Conrad Industries quickly melted whenever she saw her grandmother. She sank gratefully into the chair next to the brass four-poster bed and slipped off her shoes, tucking her feet beneath her.
Visiting Ruth at the family home was an escape for her. She left her worries and troubles outside. Her world was often filled with chaos, but with Ruth she found calm; the day’s tension was replaced by peace and solace.
The storm outside seemed far removed from this bedroom haven.
“The thunder woke me,” Ruth said in a low voice, smiling weakly. “I lay back and I could hear huge kettledrums in the sky. Oh, how they rumbled. Then I had Charles open the drapes so I could look outside. The clouds billowed past like giant puffs of smoke. It was a marvelous show.”
Julia took her grandmother’s hand and released a slow, uneven breath. She glanced around the room, studying the treasures Ruth had chosen to keep nearby. A row of silver-framed pictures rested on the nightstand, next to several prescription bottles. There was one of her son—Julia’s father—another of the family together, plus Ruth’s own wedding portrait and a candid photo of her beloved husband, Louis. A chintz-covered Victorian chair sat in front of the fireplace, a wool afghan draped over the back for when Ruth felt well enough to venture from the bed. The round table beside the chair was covered with a dark velvet cloth. Julia’s picture, one taken shortly after she’d graduated from college, was propped up beside the lamp. Julia looked away, unable to bear the naïveté and innocence she saw in that younger version of herself.
“I’m so pleased you stopped by,” Ruth said again.
Julia came almost every day, knowing the time left with her grandmother was shrinking. Neither spoke of her death, although it was imminent. Julia was determined to do whatever she could to make these last days as comfortable and happy for her as possible. That was what kept Julia going day after day. She spent hours talking to her grandmother, telling her about Alek’s ideas, the innovations he was currently working on, her own hopes for the company. They discussed the future and how the entire industry was about to change because of Alek’s vision. Her grandmother had been as impressed with Alek as Julia was. Ruth had wanted to meet him, and Julia had asked Jerry to bring Alek over. From what she heard later, the two had been quite charmed by each other.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Ruth whispered.
She sounded so weak. “Rest,” Julia said urgently. “We’ll talk later.”
Ruth responded with a fragile smile. “I don’t have much longer, Julia. A few weeks at the most.…”
“Nonsense.” The truth was too painful to face, yet much too persistent to ignore. “You’re just tired, that’s all. It’ll pass.”
Ruth’s eyes drifted shut, but determination opened them a moment later. “We need to talk about Roger,” her grandmother said insistently.
A muscle in Julia’s neck tensed, and a cold shiver went down her backbone. “Not…now. Some other time. Later.”
“Might not…have later. Best to do it now.”
“Grandma, please…”
“He betrayed you, child, and you’ve held on to that grief all these years. Your pain is killing you just as surely as this heart of mine is draining away my life.”
“I don’t even think of him anymore.” Julia tried to reassure her, although it was a lie. She struggled to push every thought of Roger from her mind, but that wouldn’t happen until she’d completely rebuilt what he’d destroyed.
“Regret and anger are poisoning you like…like venom.… I’ve watched it happen and been too weak…to help you the way I wanted.”
“Grandma, please, Roger is out of my life. I haven’t seen him in over a year. What’s the point of talking about him now?”
“He’s gone…but you haven’t forgotten him. He failed you.”
Julia clenched her teeth. That was one way of putting it. Roger had failed her. He’d also betrayed, tricked and abandoned her. When she thought of how much she’d loved him, how much she’d trusted him, it made her physically ill. Never again would she allow a man into her heart. Never again would she give a man the power to manipulate her.
“The time’s come to forgive him.”
Julia closed her eyes and shook her head. Her grandmother was asking the impossible. A woman didn’t forgive the things Roger had done. Roger, the company’s onetime director of research and development—and Julia’s fiancé—had taught her the most valuable lesson of her life. She wasn’t going to turn her back on the humiliation he’d caused her. Forgive him? Out of the question. She’d rather bury herself in work, insulate herself from love, than forgive Roger.
“I want you to love again,” Ruth said, but her voice was so frail Julia had to strain to hear. “I don’t think I can die in peace, knowing you’re so miserable.”
“Grandma, how can you say that? Jerry and I are working hard to rebuild the company. We’re on the brink of doing truly amazing things. I’ve told you about them and about everything Aleksandr’s done. How can you say I’m miserable? These are the most challenging, exciting days of my life.”
“None of that means much…not when you’re still imprisoned in pain. I’ve waited all these years for you to break free and fall in love again. It hasn’t happened. I…look at you—” she hesitated and tears moistened her faded eyes “—and my heart aches. I want you to marry, to discover the happiness I found. It’s the only thing that’s kept me alive. I’ve waited for your season of suffering to pass.…”
“I’ll never be able to trust another man.”
“You must for your own sake.”
“I can’t, not after what Roger did. Surely you understand. Surely you—”
With what must have required supreme effort, Ruth raised her hand, cutting Julia off. “I’ve longed for the day you’d proudly introduce me to the man you love. I was hoping it would be Aleksandr.… He’s such a dear man, and so brilliant. I’d also like Jerry to find a woman to love.…” She paused. “I can’t wait any longer. My time is short, so…very short.” Her eyes drifted closed once more and her head slumped forward.
Julia sat quietly while the seeds of fear took root within her. Love again? Impossible. Something she refused to even consider.
Marriage. To Alek.
Twice in the same day someone had suggested she marry him. First Jerry, as a ridiculous solution to their problem with the Immigration people, and now her grandmother, as the answer to her pain.
Julia stood, her arms wrapped around her. Glancing over at Ruth, she realized her grandmother was asleep. The grandmother who’d loved and supported her all her life, who’d stood by her when the whole world exploded. When Ruth had lost her son and Julia her father, when the man who was supposed to love her betrayed them all.
Julia remembered a time, long past, when she’d been a child and a fierce thunderstorm had raged in the dead of night. Terrified, she’d raced down the hallway to Ruth’s room and slipped into bed with her. Even then she’d known that was the safest place in all the world for her to be.
That security had always been with her. Soon she would lose her anchor, the person who’d guided and loved her. Ruth had never asked anything of her before. Julia didn’t know how she could refuse now.
Julia’s request came as no surprise. Aleksandr had been waiting for it since the scene in her office the day before. If he lived to be a wise, old man he doubted he’d ever understand this country he’d come to love. Nor was he likely to understand Julia Conrad. She was a woman encased in frost, a woman with a wounded soul. He’d recognized this from the moment they’d met. She was uncomfortable with him; he knew that from the way she avoided eye contact. He hadn’t had much contact with her, and he suspected she preferred to communicate through her brother.
Julia’s assistant let him into the office and announced his arrival. Julia was sitting at her desk writing. When he entered the room, she glanced up and smiled.
“Please, sit down,” she said politely, motioning toward the chair on the other side of her desk. “I hope I’m not interrupting your work.”
For a few seconds Aleksandr didn’t trust himself to speak. Her pain was closer to the surface than ever before, almost visible beneath the facade she’d erected.
“I’m never too busy for you, Ms. Conrad,” he said, bowing his head slightly.
Her features seemed perfect to him, her beauty so flawless it was chilling. He noted that her creamy skin was flushed but her eyes dark and clear as they studied him with equal interest.
“I thought it might be a good idea if we talked,” she suggested haltingly.
He nodded. “About my work?”
She hesitated. Not answering, she stood and moved away from him, carefully placing herself in the shadows where it was more difficult to read her expression.
“Tell me how your experiments are progressing,” she said, her hands clasped behind her back. He sensed her reserve—and her tension.
Aleksandr was well aware from the notes he’d received from her that Julia had read and understood his weekly reports. Nevertheless he humored her. The additives he’d been working on for Conrad paints had impressive capabilities. His first innovation had been a simple one. Once an exterior surface was painted, if the owner wished a different color at some later date, all he or she needed to do was wash the surface with another solution, one that would be available only through Conrad Industries. It was an approach that would work on homes, cars and lawn furniture.
His second innovation had been just as successful so far. He’d developed a blend of chemicals that, when applied to a surface, would completely remove the old paint. No more scraping or heating it. A spray of the solution would dissolve it away with a minimum of effort, without harmful effects or harsh chemicals to damage the environment.
Aleksandr gave Julia a detailed description of his most recent experiments. He regretted that he wouldn’t be with Conrad Industries to see his work come to fruition, but there was nothing more he could do. He was sorry to be leaving America, especially since there was still such poverty and upheaval in his homeland.
He paused, awaiting her response.
“You’re very close, then.”
“Within a few months,” he guessed.
Her brows arched with what he assumed was surprise and delight. Both emotions quickly left her expression as she looked away. Her eyes avoided his, and Aleksandr wondered privately how many hearts she’d broken. She held herself distant, the unattainable prize of many a man, the untouchable dream of loveliness.
“Aleksandr.” She spoke with a casual familiarity, although as far as he could recall, it was the first time she’d addressed him by his first name. “We have a problem…as you know.”
She moved toward him, her eyes wide, and when she spoke again it was in a whisper. “We’re too close to lose everything now. I can’t let it happen. My brother…came up with a solution.”
Aleksandr’s mind churned with confusion. She couldn’t possibly be considering Jerry’s suggestion that they get married, could she? Only a day earlier she’d scoffed at her brother for even mentioning something so preposterous. Alek hadn’t been given a chance to comment.
“I’ve been thinking about Jerry’s idea,” she continued demurely, glancing over her shoulder at him as she returned to her desk. “It seems marriage is our only solution.”
Aleksandr wasn’t fooled by her demeanor; there wasn’t a shy, retiring bone in that delectable body of hers. Julia Conrad was too proud and stubborn to play the role well. But there was no limit to her determination.
“Of course you’d be well compensated for your…contribution to Conrad Industries. Even more than we’re currently paying you. We’d be happy to double your salary. Naturally it wouldn’t be a real marriage, and when you’ve finished with your work, we’d obtain a quiet divorce. If you’re agreeable, I’ll have Jerry draw up a prenuptial agreement for us to sign.”
Aleksandr was convinced that if there’d been any other way to solve the problem, Julia would have opted for it. She was offering him a pretend marriage, followed by a discreet divorce.
He frowned, disliking the fact that she was trying to bribe him with money. His wages were already far beyond what he could ever hope to make in Russia. Much of what he earned now he sent to his family, while he lived as frugally as possible.
“I understand there are several members of your family still in Russia,” she said cautiously. “We might be able to help them immigrate to the States if we did decide to go ahead with this marriage.”
At his silence, Julia added, “If that’s something you’d care to consider—bringing your immediate family into the country. Is it?” she prompted.
Aleksandr’s voice was strained when he spoke. “My sister is unmarried and lives with my mother, who is a widow.” Unable to remain seated, he stood and walked to the window, his back to her. He felt a strong desire to take Julia in his arms, but he was painfully aware that there was no warmth in her, nor would she welcome his touch.
For two years Aleksandr had studied Julia Conrad. Outwardly she was often arrogant and sometimes sarcastic. But she wasn’t entirely capable of hiding her softer side. Every now and then he caught puzzling, contradictory glimpses of her. She cared deeply for her employees and was often generous to a fault. Then there’d been the day, shortly after Alek had come to America, when he’d seen Julia with her grandmother.
Julia’s facade had melted away that afternoon. If Alek hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have believed such a transformation was possible. Julia had glowed with joy and pride as she gave her grandmother a tour of the rebuilt facilities. Alek had watched from a distance—and had held on to that image of her ever since.
Marriage. He sighed inwardly. His religion didn’t accept divorce and he refused to sacrifice his life and his happiness for a business proposition.
“I wish you’d say something,” she said.
He returned to the chair and kept his features as expressionless as he could. “There’s much we would need to consider before we enter into this agreement.”
“Of course,” she returned.
“Your money does not interest me.”
She seemed surprised by his words. “Even for your family?”
“Even for my family.” What he earned now was adequate. Julia wasn’t the only one who was proud. Alek couldn’t be bought. She, a woman who needed no one, needed him, and he appreciated what it had taken for her to approach him with this offer. Alek wasn’t being completely unselfish, nor was he without greed. He had a price in mind.
“Then what is it you want?”
He shrugged, not knowing how to tell her.
Restlessly she came to her feet and walked away from him. He admired her smooth, fluid grace. She was a woman who moved with confidence, sure of herself and her surroundings. Usually. But at the moment she seemed sure of nothing and obviously that disturbed her.
“I don’t know what to say,” Aleksandr answered truthfully.
“Do you find the idea of marriage to me so distasteful?” she asked.
“No,” he told her quietly. “You’re lovely.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t want money.”
“If it isn’t money, then what? A percentage of my stock? A vice presidency? Tell me.”
“You Americans regard marriage differently than we do in my country. There, when a man and woman marry, it is for many reasons, not all of them love. Nevertheless, when we marry it is for life.”
“But you aren’t in Russia now, you’re in America.”
“Americans treat marriage like dirty laundry. When it becomes inconvenient, you toss it aside. My head tells me I live in your country now, but my heart believes in tradition. If we marry, Julia, and it would be my wish that we do, there will be no divorce.”
Her breath escaped in a rush and her dark eyes flared briefly.
Aleksandr ignored the fury he read in her and continued. “We both stand to gain from this arrangement. I will remain in the country and complete my experiments. You will have what you wish, as well. But there is a cost to this, one we should calculate now. The marriage will be a real one, or there will be no marriage.”
Her gaze cut through him with ill-concealed contempt. “So you want more than the golden egg, you want the whole goose.”
“The goose?” Aleksandr hadn’t heard this story. He smiled. “In my family, goose is traditionally served at the wedding meal. I do not know about the golden egg, but you may keep that. I want only you.”
Her voice was husky when she spoke. “That’s what I thought.”
The phone on her desk rang just then and Julia reached for it. “I said I didn’t want to be disturbed,” she said impatiently. Her face tightened as she listened. “Yes, yes, of course, you did the right thing. Put me through immediately.” Several seconds passed. “Dr. Silverman, this is Julia Conrad. I understand you’ve had my grandmother taken to Virginia Mason Hospital.”
Alek watched as the eyes that had been distressed and angry a moment earlier softened with emotion. She blinked, and Alek thought he might have noticed the sheen of tears.
“Naturally. I’ll let my brother know right away and we’ll meet you there as soon as we can. Thank you for contacting me so soon.” She replaced the receiver, stood and started out of the room, apparently forgetting Aleksandr was there.
“Your grandmother is ill?” he asked.
She whirled around, apparently surprised at the sound of his voice, and nodded. “I…have to leave. I don’t believe there’s any need for us to discuss this further. I can’t agree to your conditions. I refuse to be trapped in the type of marriage you’re suggesting. I’d hoped we’d be able to work out some kind of compromise, but that doesn’t seem possible.”
“I’m disappointed. We would’ve had fine children.”
She stared at him as if he’d spoken in his native tongue and she didn’t understand a word he’d said. “Children?” she repeated. A sadness seemed to steal over her; she shook her head, perhaps to dispel the image.
“I will think good things for your grandmother,” Alek told her.
She nodded. “Thank you.” With what looked like hard-won poise, she turned and left the office.
Alek watched her go, and the proud way in which she carried herself tugged at his heart. He wished her grandmother well, but more importantly, he wished Julia a happy life.
Knowing his time in the States was limited to mere days, Aleksandr worked well past five, when his colleagues had all gone home. He felt it was his moral obligation to do everything within his power to see that the next series of experiments was performed to the standards he’d set for the earlier ones. He wouldn’t be with Conrad Industries to oversee the ongoing research, and that bothered him, but he had no choice.
The laboratory was silent, and the footsteps echoing down the wide corridor outside his office were louder than they would otherwise have been.
He raised his eyes expectantly when Julia Conrad opened the door without knocking and walked inside. She was pale, her eyes darker than he’d ever seen them before.
“Julia,” he said, standing abruptly. “Is something wrong?”
She looked sightlessly around, as though she didn’t know where she was or how she got there.
“Your grandmother?”
Julia nodded and gnawed on her bottom lip. “She…she had another heart attack.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her eyes flew upward as if to gauge the sincerity of his words. For a lengthy moment she said nothing. Then she inhaled a shaky breath and bit her lip so hard, Aleksandr was afraid she’d draw blood.
“I…I’ve reconsidered, Mr. Berinski. I’ll marry you under the conditions you’ve set.”
Two (#u239a6127-62a5-5f95-acbb-9e2f453bfff4)
“I don’t want an elaborate wedding.” Julia folded her arms, moving to the far side of her office. Her brother was being impossible. “How could there even be time to arrange one?”
“Julia, you’re not listening to me.”
“I’m listening,” she said sharply. “I just don’t happen to like what I’m hearing.”
“A reception at the Four Seasons isn’t so much to ask.”
“But a wedding with guests and this whole thing about wearing a fancy wedding dress is ridiculous! Jerry, please, this is getting out of hand. I understand marriage is the best solution, but I didn’t realize I’d be forced to endure the mockery of a formal wedding.”
Jerry gestured helplessly. “We’ve got to make this as credible as we can. Apparently you don’t understand how important this is—and not just the wedding, either. That’s only the first hurdle. You have to make everything appear as though you’re madly in love. Nothing less will convince the Immigration people. If you fail… I don’t even want to think about that.”
“You’ve already gone through this.” More times than she cared to count.
“Alek has to live with you, too.”
This was the part that disturbed Julia most. Her condo was her private haven, the one place where she could be completely herself. She was about to lose that, too. “But why?” She knew the answer, had argued until Jerry was seething with exasperation. Julia didn’t blame him, but this marriage was becoming far more complicated than she’d ever thought it would.
“Why?” Jerry shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “I’ve made everything as plain as I can. Alek isn’t the problem, it’s you. What I don’t understand, Julia, is why you’re being so difficult when we’re the ones who stand to benefit from this arrangement.”
“You’re making Alek sound like a saint for marrying me.” She frowned. “And I don’t see you running for the altar.” Jerry had recently ended yet another brief liaison.
He didn’t answer right away, which irritated her even more. “Let’s put it this way,” he finally said. “Conrad Industries is gaining far more from this marriage than Alek ever will. And,” he added, “my marital status is irrelevant.”
Julia rolled her eyes at that. “I offered to pay him, and very generously, too,” she said.
“You insulted him. The man has his pride, Julia. He isn’t doing this for the money.”
“Then why is he going through with it?”
Jerry shrugged. “Darned if I know.”
His words reiterated that Alek wasn’t getting any bargain by marrying her. “He wants to help his family,” Julia reminded her brother. She remembered Alek mentioning a sister and his widowed mother. As the oldest son, Alek would feel responsible for taking care of his family. Julia had promised to do whatever she could to bring both his mother and his sister to the United States. This marriage provided plenty of incentives for Alek, she told herself, so she didn’t need to worry about taking advantage of him.
“There’s more to the man than meets the eye,” Jerry muttered. “I’m convinced he’s not interested in monetary gain. When he read over the prenup, he insisted on no stake in the company. We’re about to make a fortune because of him, and he wants no part of it.”
This discussion wasn’t doing anything to ease Julia’s conscience. “I agreed to the marriage,” she said, not wanting to stray any farther from the subject than they already had. “But no one said anything about a wedding. I thought we’d make an appointment with a justice of the peace and be done with it.” She walked over to her desk, opened the old-fashioned appointment book and flipped through the pages. “Friday at four is open.”
“Julia,” Jerry returned with a sigh. “As I’ve explained—we’ve got to make this as real as we can for obvious reasons.”
“I’ve said Alek can move in with me.” To Julia, that was a major concession. She wasn’t pleased by it, nor did she feel good about tricking Alek. He’d insisted from the first that their marriage be real. He’d made it known that he intended to sleep with her; he also wanted children. Julia couldn’t allow any of that. Alek didn’t understand and neither did Jerry. Julia was incapable of love, the kind of trusting love a husband and wife shared. That possibility was dead, destroyed by Roger’s treachery. Never again would she put her faith in a man. Alek expected her to be his wife in every way, but soon he’d learn the truth. Soon he’d know for himself how badly he was being cheated. Such deception didn’t sit well with Julia, but there was no avoiding it.
While Julia admired Alek, she found herself nervous around him. He left her feeling naked, somehow. Exposed. He seemed to be able to look into her very soul. That didn’t make sense, but she couldn’t shake the suspicion that in some uncanny way he knew all there was to know about her.
“Immigration is going to ask about the wedding,” Jerry went on. “We need proof that what prompted the marriage to Alek was nothing less than earth-shattering love. A hurried-up affair in some judge’s chambers won’t work. They’re going to want evidence of your commitment and devotion to each other.”
“A hurried-up affair at the Four Seasons will convince them of all that?” she asked sarcastically.
Jerry sighed again. “It looks better. Now, I suggest you go out and get yourself a fancy wedding dress while I make arrangements with Virginia. We’ll deal with the caterers and the photographers and see to having the invitations hand-delivered.”
“Jerry, this is crazy!” Julia protested. The idea of dressing up in an elaborate wedding gown, as if she were a loving bride on display, appalled her. Nor was she keen on posing for a series of photographs, like a new wife passionately in love with her husband. It was too much. “I can’t go through with this,” she said evenly.
“You’ve already agreed.”
“To the marriage, yes, but not this…this circus. It’s becoming a Hollywood production, a show for media attention.”
“A show is what we need if we’re going to fool the Immigration investigators,” Jerry argued. “And trust me, Julia, this marriage will be investigated.”
Julia walked over to the window and studied the street several floors below. In a moment of weakness, when her fears had been rampant and she was so deathly afraid of losing Ruth, Julia had gone to Alek and agreed to his terms. Even now she didn’t understand what had prompted her. She was sick of analyzing it, furious with herself for being so weak. This morning, once her head had cleared, she’d realized it had all been a mistake. But by then Alek had contacted Jerry, who’d put everything in motion. Now, it seemed, there was no turning back.
Her intercom hummed before Virginia’s efficient voice reached out to her. “Mr. Berinski is here to see you.”
Julia looked at her brother in sheer panic. She wasn’t prepared to deal with Alek just yet. They hadn’t spoken since she’d consented to the marriage.
“Julia,” Jerry prompted when she didn’t respond.
“Send him in,” Julia instructed her assistant, steeling herself for the confrontation.
No sooner had the words left her mouth than the door leading to her office opened. Alek walked in and his dark eyes shone brightly as he gazed over at her. A slow, seductive smile appeared on his lips.
“Good afternoon.” Alek spoke to her brother first, then returned his attention to her. “Julia.”
“Alek,” she said briskly, surprised by how defensive she sounded.
He didn’t seem perturbed by her lack of welcome. Last night she’d agreed to become his wife, accepting the stipulations he’d set. She’d been overwrought with anxiety, frightened and lost. Yet no matter how hard she argued with herself, Julia wouldn’t change her mind…unless Alek wanted out. She was a woman of honor, a woman of her word. She knew he was the same way.
“I was just clearing the wedding arrangements with Julia,” Jerry explained.
Alek’s eyes refused to leave her. She felt her face heat and wished with everything in her that she could escape.
“I’d like some time alone with my fiancée,” Alek said.
Julia sent Jerry a pleading glance, not wanting him to leave her. Jerry ignored the unspoken request, mumbled something under his breath and walked out of the room.
“You want to talk?” she asked abruptly. She rubbed her palms and walked away from him. Her shoulders felt stiff and her legs heavy.
“You’re nervous.”
Nervous. Terrified. Afraid. None of those words adequately described what Julia was experiencing. The situation had an eerie, unreal quality that she couldn’t shake. Only a few years earlier she’d looked forward to being a happy bride. She’d dreamed of the day Roger would slip a wedding band on her finger and gaze down at her with love.
She felt a flash of unexpected pain, then forced herself to shake the image from her head.
“All brides are nervous,” she said quietly in response to his question.
“How is your grandmother?”
“I’ll be seeing her this afternoon.… Better, I believe.” According to the nurse Julia had spoken with that morning, Ruth had slept restfully through the night. But that had been after Jerry had spoken to her and said Julia would be marrying Aleksandr Berinski. Her grandmother had only met Alek once, and that had been recently. He’d obviously made quite an impression, because his name had cropped up with alarming frequency ever since.
“Do you wish to cancel the wedding?” Alek probed.
Here was her chance, handed to her on the proverbial silver platter. All she needed to do was tell him that she hadn’t been herself, that she hadn’t been fully aware of what she was doing. She opened her mouth to explain it all away and found she couldn’t. The words refused to come. While she was fumbling for a reply, he stepped behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. He leaned forward, gently kissing the side of her neck.
Julia froze. It was the first time a man had touched her since Roger. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Alek didn’t seem to notice. Sliding his arms around her, he brought her against him. His breath stirred shivers along her spine and a curious warmth crept into her blood.
Alek turned her around to face him. She wasn’t given the opportunity to object as he pressed his mouth to hers. His lips moved slowly over hers. She wedged her hands between them, braced her palms against his hard chest and pushed herself free. Her lungs felt as though they were about to burst, and she drew in a deep breath.
Alek didn’t seem offended or surprised by her actions. His eyes danced with mischief as they sought hers. Julia raised the back of her hand to her mouth and held it there. She burned with anger. He’d done this intentionally so she’d know he expected to touch her and kiss her often after the ceremony. She was to be his wife in every sense of the word and he wouldn’t tolerate a loveless, sexless marriage. He wanted her and he was making sure she knew it.
What was she going to do?
Julia stood outside the bridal shop with all the thrill and anticipation of a long-overdue visit to the dentist.
She opened the door and walked inside, grateful the saleswoman wasn’t busy.
“Hello.”
“Hello,” Julia said stiffly, fanning out the billowing chiffon skirt of a pale yellow bridesmaid’s dress that hung from a rack.
“May I help you?” came the friendly voice.
Julia revealed her lack of enthusiasm with a noncommittal shrug. “I need a wedding dress for this Friday afternoon.”
The shopkeeper was petite, hardly more than five feet tall with soft brown hair. The woman was a dreamer; Julia could see it in her eyes. She, too, had once worn that same look of innocence.…
“The wedding is this Friday?”
“I know that doesn’t give me much time,” Julia said, feeling foolish. “It’s one of those spur-of-the-moment things.”
“Don’t worry,” the saleswoman assured her, hurrying toward a long rack of plastic-covered wedding dresses. “Spur-of-the-moment weddings are often the most romantic.”
Julia had nothing to add. She could tell that this woman was more than a dreamer; she was also hopelessly sentimental. She had her head in the clouds when it came to love, and no doubt her attitude had been influenced by her job. She dealt with women who were deeply in love, women for whom the entire world was there for the taking.
Three years earlier, Julia had been one of them. Young, enthusiastic and so much in love she didn’t recognize what should’ve been obvious.
“I’d like a very plain dress,” she said forcefully, breaking off her thoughts.
“Plain,” the woman repeated slowly.
“The plainer the better,” Julia reiterated, strolling about the store.
“I’m afraid I have a limited selection of plain dresses.”
That was what Julia feared. “Something simple, then.”
“Simple and elegant?” she asked, grinning approvingly. “Would you like to look through this rack? Choose the designs that appeal to you, I’ll get them in your size, and then you can try them on.”
As far as Julia was concerned, this business with the wedding dress was a waste of time. She wanted it to be over and done with so she could head for the hospital and visit Ruth.
The saleswoman led her to the appropriate display of gowns. Julia shuffled through them quickly, making two selections. Neither dress really appealed to her.
“I’ll try on these two,” Julia said.
The woman made no comment as she went into the back room and returned a few minutes later with the two dresses in the correct size. She took them into the dressing room and placed them on the hook.
Julia obediently followed her inside. She undressed and slipped into the first dress. It was just as the saleswoman had promised. Simple and elegant. A straight skirt made of silk, a beaded yoke and cuffs. It looked fine, Julia supposed.
“No,” the shop-owner said with certainty. “This one doesn’t suit you.”
“It looks…”
“No,” the woman repeated. “Don’t even bother to try on the next dress. It wouldn’t suit you, either.”
“Please, I don’t have a lot of time.”
“The dress is one of the most important aspects of your wedding. Every bride deserves to feel beautiful on her special day.”
Julia didn’t know why she felt like crying, but she did. Buckets of tears welled up inside her. She was grateful the woman didn’t seem to notice. Brides deserved a whole lot more than feeling beautiful; they deserved to marry a man they loved. A man who loved them, too.
“Wait here,” she instructed. She left the changing area and came back a moment later carrying a lovely ornate dress. The silk gown with pearls and sequins was anything but simple. Rarely had Julia seen a dress as intricate as this.
“Try it on,” she said when Julia hesitated.
“I…I don’t think I should.”
“Nonsense. This dress was designed for someone with your body type. It’s perfect. It arrived this afternoon, almost as though I’d sent away for it with you in mind.”
“I don’t know,” Julia murmured. The woman held up the gown for her inspection. It was lovely, ten times more elaborate than the one she’d tried on earlier. Ten times more beautiful, too. It was the kind of dress a woman in love would choose, knowing her groom would treasure its beauty. Would treasure her beauty. A groom who’d cherish her devotion all his life. It was the style of dress she would’ve worn for Roger before she learned of his betrayal. Before she’d learned what a fool she’d been.
She wanted to argue, but one look convinced her that the woman would hear none of it. Not exactly sure why she’d allowed this stranger to dictate her actions, Julia put on the dress. The silk and taffeta rustled as it slid effortlessly over her hips. She kept her eyes lowered as she turned around and the shopkeeper fastened the small pearl closures down her back.
Julia felt strangely reluctant to look into a mirror, almost fearing her own reflection. When she did raise her eyes to the glass, she was startled at the beautiful young woman who gazed back at her. It took her a wild second to realize it was herself.
Gone were the lines that told of the bitterness and disappointment she’d carried with her since her father’s death. The cool, disinterested look in her eyes had warmed. The calculating side of her personality faded, replaced by the woman she’d been before she’d fallen in love with Roger Stanhope. Open, trusting, naive—too young for her years.
Unable to look at herself any longer, Julia dragged her eyes away from the graceful reflection of the woman she’d once been. The woman Roger’s deception had destroyed.
“It’s perfect,” the saleswoman was saying with a sigh of appreciation. “Just perfect. It’s as if the dress was meant for you.”
Julia opened her mouth to contradict the woman, but before she could voice her objection she looked at the mirror one last time. A few days earlier she’d caught a stormy glimpse of herself reflected in her office window. She’d disliked what she’d seen, the woman she’d become, cold, uncaring and driven.
She’d quickly abandoned her self-analysis and had concentrated on what was happening with Alek and Jerry at the Immigration office instead. The events of that afternoon had resulted in this farce of a wedding.
Alek had been adamant that there be no divorce. Julia had agreed to those terms, but not in the spirit he’d intended. If it weren’t for these particular circumstances, Julia doubted she would ever have married. This would be her only wedding, her one chance to wear such a beautiful gown.
“I’ll take it,” she said, calling herself a fool even as she spoke.
“Somehow I knew you would.” The saleswoman grinned broadly.
It took an additional twenty minutes, while the dress was wrapped up and the bill paid, before Julia was able to leave the shop. Nervously she glanced at her watch as she headed toward her parked car. She was already late and knew Ruth would be worried.
As often as she’d visited hospitals, Julia could never accustom herself to the antiseptic smell. She rushed down the polished hallway to the wing that housed her grandmother. She hated the thought of Ruth being here, away from her comfortable home and the pictures she loved and kept close to her side.
Ruth had tried repeatedly to prepare Julia for her death, but Julia refused to listen, refused to accept life without her adored grandmother.
Checking in at the nurses’ station, Julia was left to wait until Velma Williams, the head nurse, returned. A striking arrangement of red, blue, yellow and white flowers overfilled an inverted straw hat on a corner of the long counter. Julia admired it as she stood there. A few minutes later, Velma was back and Julia was ushered to Ruth’s side.
“Good afternoon,” Julia whispered. She couldn’t tell if Ruth was sleeping or simply resting her eyes. Her grandmother seemed to be doing more of both lately. There were various tubes and pieces of equipment attached to Ruth’s body, monitoring her heart and administering drugs intravenously. Julia looked down on this woman she loved so much and had to force back her growing sense of alarm. It seemed to ring in her ears, announcing that the time was fast approaching when Ruth would no longer be with her.
The older woman’s eyes gradually drifted open. “Julia, my dear, I’m so glad you’re here. Come, sit with me.”
Julia pulled up a chair and sat next to the high hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”
Ruth gestured weakly with her hand. “That’s not important now. Tell me about you and Alek. How I’ve prayed for this day. How I’ve hoped you’d learn to love again.”
“The wedding’s on Friday afternoon.” Julia half suspected her grandmother would find the timing suspicious, but instead Ruth smiled tenderly and a faraway look came into her tired eyes.
“Friday… It’s a good thing you won’t have a long engagement, because I doubt I’ll last more than a week or two.”
“Grandma, please don’t say that. You’re going to be around for years and years.”
The weary smile didn’t waver. “I won’t see my great-grandchildren.”
Julia wanted to argue with her, but she couldn’t; there’d never be children for her and Alek because there would never be a real marriage. She suffered a slight twinge of guilt but pushed it aside as a luxury she couldn’t afford.
“I’m sorry I’m late but I was trying on wedding dresses,” Julia explained, injecting some enthusiasm into her voice. She was mildly surprised at how little effort it required to sound excited about the dress she’d bought at the bridal shop. She described it in detail and was pleased at the way her grandmother’s eyes brightened.
“You and Alek will come see me after the ceremony, won’t you?”
“Of course,” Julia promised.
Ruth motioned toward the nurses’ station. “He sent me flowers. He’s a very thoughtful boy. Velma carried in the bouquet for me to see. Did you notice them?” “Who sent you flowers?”
“Your Alek. An enchanting arrangement, and such a sweet thing to do. I like him, Julia. You’ve chosen well, my dear.”
Julia was uncomfortable talking about Alek. He’d been foremost in her thoughts all day and she wanted to escape him, escape the memory of his gentle kiss.
“Tell me about your romance. You’ve been so close-mouthed about it all…yet I knew.” Ruth’s eyes closed slowly and she sighed. With what seemed to be a good deal of effort she opened her eyes again. “He’s a special man, that one. Just hearing about you two gladdens my heart.”
“Ah…” Julia hesitated, not sure what to say. “It all happened rather quickly…almost overnight.”
“So I gathered.” A spark appeared in Ruth’s eyes. “Oh, how I adore a love story. Tell me more before I fall back asleep.”
“Alek’s green card was about to expire.” Keeping everything as close to the truth as possible made this much easier.
“His green card,” Ruth repeated. “Of course, I’d forgotten.”
“He was going to have to return to Russia.”
“And you realized you couldn’t let that happen, didn’t you?”
“I hadn’t realized how important he was to me,” Julia said, adding drama to her voice. “Jerry did everything he could to persuade the Immigration people to let Alek stay, but nothing he said convinced them. The three of us were talking and suddenly I understood how vital it was to me that Alek remain in the United States. I…don’t think I could bear to go on without him.” This was a stretch, but Julia knew what a romantic her grandmother was. If she was exaggerating the truth just a little, it was a small price to pay to satisfy Ruth.
“Julia, my sweet child.” Her grandmother’s delicate hand reached for Julia’s and she squeezed her fingers. “I always trusted that in time you’d open your heart to love again. It took a special man like Alek. Be happy, my child. Promise me you won’t let go until you’ve found your joy.”
Julia wasn’t sure she understood Ruth’s words. They made little sense to her. She would have questioned her if Ruth hadn’t chosen that moment to slip into a peaceful slumber. For several minutes Julia remained at her grandmother’s side, taking in the solace she felt whenever she spent time with Ruth.
“Julia.” The sound of her name, said with that soft European accent, caught her attention. She jerked around to find Alek standing in the doorway.
She got up abruptly, resenting his intrusion into these quiet moments. She walked toward the door, not wanting him to interrupt her grandmother’s rest.
“What are you doing here?” she asked when they were well into the corridor.
The edge of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “I came to see you. There is much we need to discuss.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and sauntered over to the elevator.
“I left the wedding arrangements in Jerry’s hands. He’ll look after everything. As far as I can see, there’s nothing to discuss.”
She saw the anger in him, in the prideful squaring of his shoulders and the way his mouth thinned.
“You want me, Julia, and you need me. I just wonder how long it will take before you realize this.”
The arrogance of the man was beyond description. She glared at him. She needed no one, especially a man, and never a husband. She wanted to shout out the words, but a hospital corridor was the last place to do that.
Long seconds passed as they stared into each other’s eyes.
“You need me,” he said again.
“You’re wrong,” she returned defiantly. Conrad Industries needed him; she didn’t.
Their eyes lingered and it seemed neither of them knew what to say or do next. Jerry had mentioned how proud Alek was, and she could see that colossal ego for herself. He released her arm and turned away.
He was several yards down the hospital corridor before Julia spoke. “I don’t need you, Alek,” she called after him. She had to say something. They’d quickly make each other miserable if this friction between them continued. If he wouldn’t make an effort, then it was up to her.
“So you’ve already said.”
“But I am willing to admit we need each other.”
Grinning, he turned back. His smile grew as he returned to her side. For a heartbeat, he said nothing. Then he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. His touch was as gentle as before. Light as air, it left her wondering if she’d imagined his kiss.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
His smile was worth waiting for. “Because, my soon-to-be-wife, you deserved it.” He brushed the hair away from her face. “For that matter,” he said with a roguish grin, “so did I.”
Three (#u239a6127-62a5-5f95-acbb-9e2f453bfff4)
The wedding ceremony was a nightmare for Julia. When it came time to repeat her vows, her throat closed up and she could barely speak. Not so with Alek. His voice rang out loud and clear, without the least hesitation.
Love and cherish.
Julia’s conscience was screaming. She had no intention of loving Alek. She didn’t want to love any man, because love had the power to hurt her, the power to break her. Julia had worked hard to blot it from her life. Love was superfluous, unnecessary, painful when abused, and her heart had yet to recover from her first experience with it.
Signing the final documents was even worse than enduring the ceremony. Her hand trembled as she wrote her name on the marriage certificate. Her eyes glazed with tears as she stared at the official document, all too aware of the lie she was living.
Jerry, her assistant and the minister all seemed unaware of her distress. She didn’t know what Alek was thinking. His fingers pressed against the small of her back as though to encourage her. She continued to hold the pen and remained bent over the document long after she’d finished signing her name.
“May your marriage be a long and fruitful one,” the minister was saying to Alek. Julia squeezed her eyes shut, drew in a steadying breath and straightened. She dared not look at Alek for fear he could read her thoughts.
Long and fruitful, Julia’s mind echoed. A sob welled up inside her and she was afraid she’d burst into tears. This deception was so much more difficult than she’d ever imagined.
“Shall we join the others?” Jerry, who had served as Alek’s best man, suggested, gesturing toward the door. Julia was grateful for an excuse to leave the room.
The reception was being held in a large hotel suite across the hall from where the wedding had taken place. Their guests were helping themselves to a wide array of hors d’oeuvres served on silver platters, and crystal flutes of champagne.
Julia was surprised by how many people had come on such short notice. Most were business associates, but several family friends were also in attendance. She had few friends left, allowing the majority of her relationships to lapse after her father’s death.
Alek was at her side, smiling and cordially greeting their guests. He placed his arm casually around her shoulders. Julia stiffened at the unwelcome familiarity, but if he noted her uneasiness, he paid no heed.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look?” he whispered close to her ear.
Julia nodded. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her from the moment she’d arrived in her wedding dress. Oddly, that depressed her, planning to deceive him the way she was. He was expecting more from this marriage than she was going to give him. She should’ve opted for the plain, simple, unadorned dress instead of the ornate one she’d chosen.
The minute she’d viewed herself before the wedding, she was sorry she’d bought this gown. Even Jerry had seemed dumbstruck when he went to escort her to Alek’s side. He’d become especially maudlin with his compliments, which added to her stress. And her guilt.
“Could you pretend to love me?” Alek whispered. “Just for these few hours?” His warm breath against her skin sent shivers down her spine. “Smile, my love.”
She complied obediently, her expression no doubt looking as stiff as it felt.
“Better,” he murmured under his breath.
“How soon can we leave?”
Alek chuckled softly. “I know you’re eager for me, but if we left too soon, it would be unseemly.”
Julia’s face burned with a wild blush, which appeared to amuse Alek even more. “Would you like me to get you a plate?” he offered.
She shook her head. Food held no appeal. “Do you want something?” she asked.
He turned to her, his eyes ablaze. “Rest assured, I do, but I’ll get my dessert later.”
Julia didn’t think her knees would support her much longer. From obligation more than desire, she drank a glass of champagne. It must’ve been more potent than she realized because she felt giddy and light-headed afterward.
It was the dress, she decided. She wanted to change out of the wedding gown because it made her feel things she had no right to feel. With Alek standing at her side, she felt beautiful and wanted and loved when she didn’t deserve or want any of it. She’d gone into this marriage for all the wrong reasons. She was uncomfortable, using Alek for her own gain, giving nothing of herself in return.
Until she’d stood before the preacher, marriage had been little more than a concept, an idea she didn’t believe in. She hadn’t expected a few words mumbled before a man of God to be so powerful. But she’d been wrong. Julia was shaken and uncertain afterward, as if she was mocking important human values.
“Jerry.” She reached out to her brother and clasped his arm with both hands. “I’ve got to get out of here.…”
He must have read the desperation in her eyes, because he nodded gravely. Whatever he said to Alek, Julia didn’t hear. She assumed her brother would escort her from the room, but it was Alek who slipped his arm around her waist. It was her husband who led her out of the reception.
“Jerry is making our excuses,” he explained.
She nodded. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as he took her down the hallway to the changing room. “I don’t know what happened.”
“Are you feeling faint?”
“I’m fine now, thanks.” Or she would be, once she was out of this dress and back in her own clothes. And once he removed his arm from her waist.… The walls seemed to close in around her. She wished Alek would leave her, but he stayed even when she reached the door leading to the changing room.
“We didn’t kiss,” Alek whispered. “Not properly.”
Julia didn’t bother to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about. When Alek was told to kiss his bride, Julia had made sure he’d merely given her a peck on the cheek. Alek had been disappointed, and Jerry’s eyes had revealed his frustration. A passionate kiss would’ve put the stamp of credibility on their act.
“You’re not sick, are you?”
She could have lied, could have offered him countless excuses, but she didn’t. “I’m fine,” she said, just as she had a minute earlier.
“Then I’ll kiss my bride.”
Her first instinct was to put him off, to thwart him again, but a kiss seemed like such a simple way to ease her conscience. His touch had always been tender, as if he understood and appreciated her need for gentleness.
“Yes,” she agreed breathlessly.
Her back was against the wall and his arms went around her waist. Unsure what to do with her own hands, she splayed them across his chest. He pulled her against him, and for a long moment he held her, as if savoring the feel of her in his arms.
The trembling returned and Julia closed her eyes. She could smell his cologne, feel his heart beat beneath her flattened palms. His breath echoed in her ears and rustled her hair.
His mouth met hers. His touch was light and brief. She tipped her head back and her eyes drifted shut as his mouth brushed hers again. And again. A sigh worked its way through her as his tongue outlined the shape of her mouth. After a series of nibbling kisses, he caught her lower lip between his teeth.
Julia held her breath, unable to respond. She was content to let him be the aggressor, to allow him to touch her and kiss her without fully participating herself.
But her lack of involvement obviously bothered Alek.
“Julia,” he pleaded, “kiss me back.”
Tentatively, shyly, her mouth opened to him and he moaned, then deepened the kiss. His arms tightened their hold and he slanted his mouth over hers. Strange, unwelcome pleasure rippled through her body.
She sighed at the sensations she experienced; she couldn’t help it. She felt hot and shaky, as though she’d suffered a near miss, as though she’d stepped off a curb and felt the rush of a car passing by and come within inches of being struck.
Her hands, which had seemed so useless moments before, were buried in his dark hair. Her body, so long untouched, felt about to explode. She moved against him, clinging to him, fighting back tears.
The sound of someone clearing his throat broke the spell. Alek stilled, as did Julia. Slowly, reluctantly, she opened her eyes to find half of the reception guests lined up in the hall watching them.
Jerry stood in the background, smiling broadly. He gave her a thumbs-up, looking ecstatic. If they were hoping to fool their guests, they’d succeeded beyond her brother’s expectations.
As though loath to do it, Alek released her. He seemed perturbed by the interruption and muttered something she didn’t understand.
“I’ll change clothes,” she said, hurriedly moving into the room. She was grateful there was a chair. Sinking down onto it, she pressed her hands to her red face and closed her eyes. She felt as if she’d leapt off a precipice in the dark and had no idea of where she’d be landing. A kiss that had begun as a compromise had become something else. She’d been trying to soothe her conscience, but instead had added to her growing list of offenses, leading Alek to believe he should expect more.
Julia took her time changing. Fifteen minutes later she reappeared in a bright red flowered dress she’d found in the back of her closet. These days she dressed mostly in business suits—jackets, straight skirts and plain white blouses. The dress was a leftover from her college days. The design was simple and stylish.
Alek was pacing the hallway anxiously.
“I’m sorry I took so long.”
His smile was enthusiastic. He touched her lips, still swollen from his kiss. The color hadn’t faded from her cheeks, either; if anything, it had deepened with this fresh appraisal.
“I…promised my grandmother we’d stop in at the hospital after the reception,” Julia said nervously. “I’d hate to disappoint her.”
“By all means we will see her.”
They said their farewells and left the reception. Julia knew the minute they walked into Ruth’s hospital room that she’d been waiting for them. Her grandmother’s smile was filled with love as she held her hands out to them.
Julia rushed forward and hugged her. She was reminded each and every time she saw her grandmother that Ruth was close to death. She clung to life, not for herself, but for Julia’s sake. It hurt her to know Ruth was in pain. Why did those who were good always have to suffer? Why couldn’t God spare her grandmother just a few more years? This day, her wedding day, had started a cauldron of emotions churning in her mind. She couldn’t bear to think of what her life would be like without her grandmother.
It had been Ruth’s kindness that had gotten her through Roger’s deception and her father’s death. Otherwise, Julia feared she would’ve ended up in a mental ward.
Other emotions long buried and ignored came to the surface, as well. Kissing Alek had stirred up needs and desires she’d assumed were lost to her.
There were no answers, at least none she felt confident enough to face. Only myriad questions that assailed her on every front. She couldn’t trust herself; her power to discern had been sadly lacking once and had cost her and her family dearly. She dared not trust herself a second time.
She was married to a man she didn’t love, a man who didn’t love her, either. To complicate everything, her grandmother was dying. This was what her life had come down to. A loveless marriage and a desperate loneliness.
When Julia released her grandmother, Ruth looked up and brushed the tears from Julia’s cheeks. “You’re crying?” she asked softly. “This should be the happiest day of your life.”
Alek placed his arm around Julia’s waist and helped her into the chair next to the bed. He stood behind her, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. Julia pressed Ruth’s hand to her cheek and held it there. Her grandmother seemed much weaker today.
“I remember when I married Louis,” she said with a wistful smile.
Her grandfather had been dead many years now. He was only a vague memory to Julia, who guessed she’d been about seven or eight when he died.
“I was frightened out of my wits.”
“Frightened?” Julia didn’t understand.
“I wondered if I was doing the right thing. There were very few divorces in those days and if a woman happened to marry the wrong man, she was often sentenced to a miserable life.”
“But I thought you’d known him for a long time.”
Ruth arched one delicate brow. “A long time?” she repeated. “In a manner of speaking, you’re right. But we’d only gone out on a handful of dates before we were married.”
“I’d always assumed you knew Grandpa for years.”
Ruth’s hand stroked Julia’s cheek. “It’s true that in the early days Louis worked for my father at the paint company my family owned. I’d see him now and then when I dropped in at the office, but those times were rare.”
Julia was enthralled. She knew her grandmother had deeply loved her grandfather, but she couldn’t remember ever hearing the story of their courtship.
“When did you fall in love?”
“Louis stopped working for my father, and Dad was furious with him. They were both strong-willed men and it seemed they were constantly disagreeing. Louis started his own business in direct competition with my family’s.” She smiled whimsically. “It was a bold move in those depression years, before the war. He managed to keep his head above water, which infuriated my father even more. I think at that point Dad would’ve taken pleasure in seeing Louis fail.” She paused and closed her eyes for a moment, as though to gather her strength.
“Then the war came and Louis joined the army. Before he left for England he came to the house. I thought he was there to see my father. Can you imagine my surprise when he said I was the one he’d come to see? He told me he was going overseas and he asked if I’d be willing to write him. Naturally I told him I would be, and then he did the strangest thing.”
When Ruth didn’t immediately continue, Julia prompted her. “What did he do?”
Ruth shook her head. “It was such a little thing and so very sweet, so much like Louis. He took my hand and kissed it.”
Her grandmother’s gaze fell to her hand, as if she still felt the imprint of his lips.
“As I look back on it,” Ruth went on, “I realize that was when I lost my heart to Louis. You see, I don’t believe he ever expected to return from the war. He loved me then, he told me much later, and had for a long time, but Louis was afraid Dad would never approve of him as my husband.”
“How long was he away?”
“I didn’t see him for three years, although I heard from him regularly. I treasured his letters and reread them so often I nearly wore them out. By the time he came home I was so deeply in love with him, nothing else mattered. My family knew how I felt and I feared the worst when Dad insisted on accompanying me to meet Louis’s train.”
“What happened?”
Ruth’s smile was weak, but happy. “Dad offered to merge his business with Louis’s. Even though Louis himself had been away, his small company had survived the war. Louis accepted, with the stipulation that both the company and I take on his name.” She smiled again. “It was a…unique proposal. My father agreed without much hesitation—and I agreed with none at all. We were married less than a month later.”
“What a beautiful story,” Julia whispered.
“We had a wonderful life together, better than I dared dream. I’ll never stop missing him.”
Julia knew her grandmother had taken Louis’s death hard. For a long while afterward, she’d closed herself off from life. It was in those bleak years that Julia’s father had wisely sent Julia and Jerry to spend the summers with their grandmother.
“You, my children,” Ruth continued, turning to Alek, “will have a good life, too. Alek, be gentle with my lamb. Her heart’s been bruised, and she can be a bit…prickly, but all she needs is love and patience.”
“Grandma!”
Ruth chuckled and gestured with her hand. “Off with you now. You don’t want to spend your wedding night with me.”
“I love you,” Julia murmured as Ruth settled back against the pillows. “Have a good sleep, and I’ll call you in the morning.”
“It was a privilege to spend this time with you,” Alek said. Reaching for her grandmother’s hand, he bent down and kissed it. “I would have liked your Louis,” he told her. “He was a rare man of honor.”
A smile coaxed up the corners of Ruth’s mouth. “Indeed he was. When we first married, there was talk, there always seemed to be talk. Some folks said Louis had married me for my connections, for the money I would one day inherit. Few realized the truth. I was the fortunate one to be loved by such a man.”
Julia looked at Alek, but when their eyes met, she quickly glanced away.
“Now go,” Ruth urged. “This is your wedding night.”
The words echoed in Julia’s ears. Her grandfather had been a man of honor, but she clearly hadn’t inherited his grit or his honesty. She planned to cheat Alek and he was about to learn exactly how much.
Julia had surprised him. Alek had misjudged this woman who was now his wife. For two years he’d studied her, astonished by her tenacity. Jerry had told him little of what had led to the company’s financial problems. Ever since his arrival, he’d picked up bits and pieces of what had happened, but no one had explained the events that had brought near ruin. From what he understood, Conrad Industries had come very close to introducing a long-lasting exterior paint with a twenty-five-year guarantee. Jerome Conrad, Jerry and Julia’s father, had been a chemist, too, and he’d been personally involved in developing it. The company was on the brink of making one of the most innovative and progressive advances in the industry. This high-tech development was expected to have a dynamic impact on sales and give Conrad Industries a badly needed financial boost. The company had been set for expansion, confident of success. Then a series of mishaps occurred.
This was the part that remained vague to Alek. He’d heard something about a burglary and a defection to a rival company. But by far the worst was a huge fire that had destroyed the lab and the warehouse. Not until much later had they learned the fire was arson.
An employee was suspected. That much he’d been told by Jerry. But there wasn’t enough proof to prosecute whoever it had been. Shortly after the fire, Jerry and Julia’s father had suffered a heart attack and died. It was then that Julia had taken over the company. They’d struggled for a year, trying to recover lost ground, before Jerry made the arrangements to bring Alek from Russia. Since that time he’d been working hard on implementing his ideas.
“You’re very quiet,” Julia commented, breaking into his thoughts.
He glanced over at his bride. Her nervousness didn’t escape him. He wanted to do whatever was necessary to put her at ease. He’d enjoyed listening to the story of Ruth and Louis Conrad’s love. It had touched his heart, reminding him of his own grandparents, long dead. They’d loved each other deeply and he could have asked for no finer heritage. His grandfather had died first and his grandmother had followed less than a year later. His mother claimed her mother-in-law had succumbed to a broken heart.
Julia shifted restlessly in the car. He caught the movement from the corner of his eye and wondered about this woman he’d begun to love. He’d been observing her for two years; he knew her far better than she could possibly grasp. And he’d known the instant Jerry had suggested they marry that he would accept nothing less than total commitment from her. He was not a man who did things by half measures. He looked forward to the time he would sleep with his wife. He’d sensed fire in her, but hadn’t realized how hot the flames were until they’d kissed. Really kissed.
No woman had ever affected him as strongly as Julia. The kisses had enhanced his appetite for what was to follow. He would be patient with her. Careful and slow. Although every instinct insisted he take her to his bed now, do away with her fretting and worry so they could enjoy the rest of the evening together. He must be patient, he reminded himself.
“Where would you like to go for dinner?” he asked. He suggested a couple of his favorite restaurants.
“Dinner?” she echoed, as though she hadn’t given the matter a second thought. “I…don’t know.”
“You decide.”
“Would you mind if we went to my…our condo?” In one of their few practical conversations, they’d agreed that he’d move into her place; his own apartment had been a furnished rental, so there hadn’t been much to bring over—just books, his computer, clothes and a few personal effects. He had a small moving company take care of it and continued to pay rent on the place so his sister, Anna, could eventually move in there.
Alek’s nod was eager. She would relax there and—what was the American term—unwind? Yes, she would unwind so that when the time came for them to retreat to the bedroom, she’d be warm with wine and eager for his touch.
“We’ll have to send out for something,” Julia announced when they reached the high-rise condominium. It was situated in the heart of downtown Seattle on the tenth floor, overlooking Puget Sound. A white-and-green ferry could be seen in the distance. The jagged peaks of the Olympic Mountains rose majestically to the west. The day had been clear and bright, but now the sun was setting, casting a pink glow over the landscape.
“Send out?” he repeated, frowning.
Julia stood in the middle of her modern home and clasped her hands in front of her. “I don’t cook much.”
“Ah.” Now he understood. “I am excellent in the kitchen.” In the bedroom, too, but he couldn’t say that without embarrassing her. She would learn that soon enough.
“You want to make our dinner?”
“Yes,” he answered, pulling his attention from the magnificent view and following her into the kitchen. He liked her home. The living room was long and narrow with windows that extended the full length. The dining room and kitchen were both compact, as if their importance was minimal.
“Would you like a glass of white wine?” Julia asked him.
“Please.” While she was busy with the wine, he explored his new home. A narrow hallway led to two bedrooms. The larger was dominated by a king-size bed, covered with a bright blue comforter and what seemed like a hundred small pillows. The scent of flowers, violets he guessed, hung in the air. The second bedroom was much smaller and the closet was filled with boxes. A quick examination revealed Christmas decorations.
He returned to the kitchen and took the wineglass from his wife’s hand. Her eyes, so large and dark, appealed to him, but for what he wasn’t sure. One thing was certain: Alek knew he couldn’t wait much longer to make love to her.
Julia felt like a fox about to be released for the hunt. She would soon be cornered, trapped by her own lies. Alek didn’t realize, at least not yet, that she had no intention of sleeping with him. So far he’d been patient and kind, but she couldn’t count on his goodwill lasting.
“I found a couple of chicken breasts in the freezer,” she told him. She felt as though she was in danger of swallowing her heart. She was pretending for all she was worth, acting the role of devoted wife, when she was anything but. “I’ll make a salad.”
He was searching through her drawers, stopping when he came across an old cloth dish towel. He tucked it at his waist and continued to survey her cupboards, taking out a series of ingredients.
He’d chopped an onion, a green pepper and several mushrooms by the time she dragged a stool to the counter. Perhaps she’d learn something about cooking from him. She’d seen Alek working in the laboratory. But now he astonished her with the familiar way he moved about her kitchen, as if this was truly his second home.
“When did you learn to cook?”
“As a boy. My mother insisted and I enjoy it.”
“Thank her for me.”
Alek paused and, glancing her way, smiled. “You can do that yourself someday. I’m doing what I can to arrange for her immigration to the States.”
“If…there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
He nodded, seemingly pleased by her offer.
Julia drank her wine and refilled both their glasses. Her mind was working at a frantic pace, devising ways of delaying the inevitable moment when he’d learn the truth. Her original plan had been to get him drunk. Two glasses of wine and she was feeling light-headed and a bit tipsy. Alek had consumed the same amount and was completely sober. He wielded a large knife without the slightest hesitation.
Her next thought was to appeal to his sense of honor. A strange tactic, she had to admit, coming from a woman who planned on cheating him out of an intimate relationship. He must recognize that she didn’t love him. This was a business arrangement that profited them both; turning it into something personal could ruin everything.
The kiss. She must’ve been mad to let him kiss her like that. She’d done nothing to resist him. Instead she’d encouraged him, led him to believe she welcomed his touch.
She’d been shaken afterward. It shouldn’t have happened. The very fact that she’d permitted him to hold her and touch her in such an intimate manner defeated her own purpose. Anger rose within her, not at Alek, but at herself for having let things go so far. Now he expected more, and she couldn’t, wouldn’t allow it. She was angry, too, about the enjoyment she’d found in his arms. It was as if she’d been looking for a way to prove herself as a woman, to show him—and everyone else—that she was more feminine than they’d suspected.
Her foolishness had only complicated an already difficult situation.
“More wine?” she asked nervously. The rice was cooking in a covered pot and the chicken was simmering in a delicious-smelling sauce. Alek appeared relaxed and at ease while Julia calculated how many steps it would take to reach the front door.
Alek shook his head. “No more wine for me.”
“I’ll set the table,” she said, slipping down from the stool and moving into the dining room. Soon he’d know. Soon he’d discover what a phony she was. He’d learn that she was a liar and a cheat and a coward.
Her hands were trembling as she set the silverware on the table. She added water glasses, anything to delay returning to the kitchen. To Alek.
He’d filled up their plates when she walked back into the room. Julia didn’t know if she could eat a single bite, and she watched transfixed as he carried their meal into the dining room.
“Julia, my love.”
“I’m not your love,” she told him coolly, leaning back against the kitchen counter.
His grin was slow. Undisturbed. “Not yet, perhaps, but you will be.”
She closed her eyes, afraid to imagine what might come next.
“Let us eat,” Alek said, taking her unresisting hand and leading her to a chair. With impeccable manners, he held it out for her, then seated himself.
“This is very nice,” she said. The smells were heavenly. In other circumstances she would have appreciated his culinary skills.
“My sister is an excellent cook,” he said casually. He removed the linen napkin from the table and spread it across his lap. “If you agree, she will prepare our meals once she arrives from Russia. She’ll welcome the job and it’ll simplify her receiving a visa.”
“Of course…” Julia was more than willing to be generous with his family.
“You are nervous?” Alek asked, after several bites. Julia hadn’t managed even one taste.
“Yes.”
He grinned. “Understandably. Don’t worry, I will be gentle with you.”
Julia’s heart plummeted.
“I admire you, Julia. It isn’t any woman who would accept the terms of our marriage. You are brave as well as beautiful. I feel fortunate to have married you.”
Four (#u239a6127-62a5-5f95-acbb-9e2f453bfff4)
Julia vaulted to her feet, startling Alek. Her hand clutched the pink linen napkin as though it were a life-line, and her dark eyes filled with tears.
“Julia?”
“I can’t do it! I can’t go through with it… You expect me to share a bed and for us to live like a normal married couple, but I just can’t do it. I lied…everything’s a lie. I’m sorry, Alek, truly sorry.”
“You agreed to my terms,” he reminded her without rancor. She was pale and trembling and it disturbed him to see her in such emotional torment. He would have liked to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he could see she wouldn’t welcome his touch.
“I was overwrought. I…I didn’t know what I was doing. Everything happened so fast.”
Alek considered her words and slowly shook his head. “You knew.”
She retreated a couple of steps. “I’ve had a change of heart. It’s understandable, given the circumstances.”
It pained him to see her so distraught, but she’d willingly agreed to his stipulations, and there’d been ample opportunity for her to speak her mind before the wedding. Calmly he pointed this out.
“You didn’t have to go through with the ceremony, but you did,” he said. “You wanted this marriage, but you refuse to admit it even to yourself.” He stared at her, demanding that she relent and recognize her foolishness. They were married, and she was his wife. There was no going back now.
“I…I felt I had no choice. Jerry was convinced that marrying you was the only way to keep you in the country. My grandmother’s dying and she likes you, believes in you, and it seemed, I don’t know, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time.”
“But now it doesn’t?” he asked calmly, despite his mounting frustration.
“No,” she said emphatically. “It doesn’t feel the least bit right.”
Alek rubbed his hand over his chin as he contemplated her words. “You Americans have many sayings I do not understand. There is one expression I remember and it seems to fit this situation.”
“What’s that?”
“Hogwash.”
Julia went speechless. Once she’d composed herself, she tilted her head regally and glared at him. Alek suspected she used this cold, haughty regard to intimidate those who dared to differ with her. A mere look was incapable of daunting him or distracting him from his purpose. It was apparent his bride had much to learn about him.
“Have you so little pride,” she asked disdainfully, “that you’d hold me to an agreement I made when I was emotionally distraught?”
Alek was impressed with her ability to twist an argument. “Pride,” he echoed slowly. “I am a proud man. But what are you, Julia? Have you so little honor that you would renege on an agreement made in good faith and expect me to accept weak excuses?”
Her face reddened and she slumped into her chair.
“I’ve fulfilled my part of the bargain,” he continued. “Is it wrong or unjust to expect you to live up to yours? I think not. You have what you wanted, what you needed. Therefore, shouldn’t you satisfy my demands?”
She scowled at him and even though an entire room separated them, Alek could feel the heat of her outrage. “You ask too much,” she muttered.
“All I ask is that you be my wife—share my life and bear our children.”
Tears marked her pale cheeks. “You have every right to be angry, every right to curse me, but I can’t be your wife the way you want.”
“It’s too late to change your mind.” His voice was flat and hard. “We are married. You spoke your vows, you signed your name to the document. There is no turning back now. I suggest you forget this foolishness and finish your meal.”
“Please try to understand. This isn’t easy for me, either. I’ve been sick with guilt. I don’t want to cheat you…I never wanted that.”
Alek sighed, his patience shrinking. “You’re beginning to sound like a disobedient child.”
“You’re correct about one thing,” she said, gesturing beseechingly with her hands. “I should’ve said something sooner. I should never have gone through with the ceremony, but it’s not too late. I’m saying something now.”
“We are married.” He sat down at the table and reached for his fork. He refused to give her the satisfaction of thinking her arguments had troubled him.
In abject frustration, Julia threw her hands in the air. “You’re impossible!”
“Perhaps,” he said readily enough. “But you are my wife and, as you yourself have agreed, you shall remain so.”
Without another word she stormed out of the dining room. He heard her in the kitchen banging around pots and pans, but couldn’t tell what she was doing. He finished his meal, although his appetite had long since deserted him.
He heard her trying to make a phone call, but whoever she called didn’t answer. From his chair he witnessed her frustration when he saw her replace the receiver and lean her forehead against the wall.
His dinner finished, Alek returned to the kitchen to find Julia busily rinsing dishes and placing them in the dishwasher.
She ignored him for several minutes, until he said, “Shall we prepare for bed?”
Julia froze, then turned and stared at him. “Are you crazy?” Each word was spoken slowly, as if he didn’t understand English.
“No,” he answered thoughtfully. “I am a husband. Yours.”
“I’m sorry, Alek,” she said, her face pale, her voice shaking. “I know I should’ve spoken up before the ceremony.… I’ve put in a call to my brother. As soon as possible I’ll make whatever arrangements are necessary to have our marriage annulled.”
Alek didn’t swallow the bait. Jerry Conrad was not only his friend but an attorney and had sanctioned this marriage with his sister. In fact, he’d encouraged it from the beginning.
Although Jerry hadn’t shared his concerns with Alek, he was convinced Julia’s brother was worried about her. Whenever Jerry mentioned Julia’s name his eyes clouded. After working with her these past two years, Alek understood her brother’s anxiety. She was aggressive, domineering and driven. In themselves those weren’t negative attributes, especially for a woman in a competitive business, but Alek had noticed something else. Julia Conrad had closed off her life from everything that didn’t involve Conrad Industries. Perhaps he was a fool, but Alek saw this woman as a challenge. More than that, he liked Julia and with very little effort could find himself in love with her. Already he admired her and was attracted to her; he longed for the day she’d feel the same about him.
No, Alek reasoned, Jerry wouldn’t give in to her dictates. He would be unemotional, reasonable. Alek knew they couldn’t count on the same behavior from Julia. Smiling to himself, he decided he rather looked forward to the battle of wills.
Alek had met Jerry years earlier while the young American had traveled across Europe. Together they’d spent a restless day in a train station. Eager to learn what he could of America, Alek had questioned him and found they shared several interests. Alek had liked Jerry. They’d corresponded over the years and Alek had shared his frustration with his country and his work. Jerry had offered Alek employment soon after the fire that had nearly destroyed Conrad Industries. It had taken them almost a year to secure the necessary visa for him to live in the United States.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Julia asked. “I’m arranging an annulment.”
“Yes, my love.”
“I am not your love,” she cried, sounding close to tears.
“Perhaps not now,” he returned confidently, “but you will be soon. Sooner than you realize. Ah, Julia,” he said, “we will have such marvelous children.…”
Alek knew when her eyes drifted shut that she wasn’t envisioning their offspring, but was desperately fighting to hold on to her temper. Once she accepted their marriage, he told himself, she would be a splendid lover. Already he’d experienced the passion that simmered within her. Soon, in her own time, she would come to him—and he’d be waiting.
Alek sauntered back into the living room, turned on the television and sat back to watch the nightly news.
No man had ever infuriated her more. Julia had needed every ounce of courage she’d ever possessed to confront him with the truth. But he’d been so blasé about it, as if he’d expected her to default on their agreement. As if he’d been calmly waiting for her to defy him.
Then to have him casually announce it was too late to change her mind? That was too much! She’d rather rot in jail than make love to such an uncaring, ill-tempered, scheming—
Suddenly she felt tired. If anyone had been scheming, she was the one. Exhaustion permeated her bones, and it was almost more than she could do to finish the dishes. Alek sat in her living room, watching television. Undaunted. Confident. Sure of himself.
“I’m going to bed,” she said shakily, praying he wouldn’t follow her.
Alek reached for the remote and turned off the television. He was on his feet, trailing her into the master bedroom, before she had time to protest.
“I’m very tired.” Her eyes pleaded with him. If she couldn’t reason with him, then perhaps she could evoke sympathy. Bottom-of-the-barrel compassion was all she had left.
“I’m tired, as well.” He stood at the opposite side of her bed and unfastened the buttons of his shirt.
Julia felt like weeping. “You expect to sleep in here?”
“You are my wife.”
“Please.” Her voice cracked.
He didn’t pause in his movements, tugging the shirt free from his waist.
“I can’t sleep with you.” Her words were low and barely audible.
He turned back the bed covers. “We are married, Julia, and we will share this room. You needn’t worry that I will make any unwelcome…advances. I’m certain that in time you’ll come to me. You will, you know, and when you do, I’ll be waiting. I can be patient when the prize is of such high value.”
The presumptuousness of the man continued to astound her. “I can’t…sleep with you,” she repeated.
“I am not a monster, Julia, but a man.” He stopped and looked at her as if expecting her to argue further.
“I don’t understand you,” she cried, nearly hysterical. “I’ve cheated you and lied to you. Why do you still want me? You should be glad to be rid of me.”
“You are my wife.”
It demanded all of Julia’s energy just to hold up her head. This man confused her and she lacked the resources to go on arguing.
He pulled back the sheets and rearranged the pillows on his side of the bed, making certain she understood that he wouldn’t be dissuaded.
“I can’t think clearly,” she said, holding her hands to her cheeks. “I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom.”
His disappointment was obvious. “You’re sure?”
She nodded. “For now.”
“As you wish, then.”
Listlessly she moved around the foot of the single bed. She’d made a mess of this marriage from the beginning.
“Julia.” His voice was softly accented and warmly masculine. Something in the way he said her name gave her pause.
“I’m so sorry,” she said before he could speak. She could hear the tears in her voice.
“For what?”
She shrugged. For another failure. For dragging him into a loveless marriage with a cold, unwilling wife. For countless unconfessed sins.
“You’ve spent today and many others before it fighting yourself. You’re weary of the battle, aren’t you?”
Julia nodded. He was behind her, moving closer. She should leave now, walk away from him before he started to make sense, before he convinced her there was hope. She couldn’t allow it to happen, because ultimately she would disappoint him. Even hurt him.
“I am your husband,” he whispered once more as he turned her into his arms. “Let me carry your burdens and lighten your load. I’m here to be your helpmate, your friend, your lover. Let me take care of you, Julia. Let me love you.” As he spoke, his mouth was drawing closer and closer to hers, until their breath mingled.
As hard as she tried, Julia couldn’t dredge up a single protest when his mouth settled firmly on hers. He kissed her the way a woman dreams a man will kiss her, with a tenderness that touched some long-hidden spark within her.
And then…he altered the kiss, making it hot and fierce. He buried his hands deep in her hair.
Alek sighed and her name spilled from his lips. His voice was filled with need. With unbridled desire.
“Be my wife.”
Julia’s eyes fluttered open. It took her a second to comprehend what he’d said. When she did, she stared at him, unable to speak. Her heart was pounding, tapping out a dire warning. One she should heed.
“I…need time.”
He continued to hold her gaze. “All right.”
Tears filled her eyes and she bit her lip. “You’re getting the short end of the stick with me, Alek.”
“Short end of the stick?”
She smiled softly. “It means you’re getting less than you deserve.”
“Let me be the judge of that. As I said, in time you’ll come to me of your own accord. In time you’ll want me as much as I want you.”
“There are many things you don’t know about me,” she said, her words so low he had to strain to hear.
“Tell me.”
She shook her head. “Just remember, I warned you.”
He released her, maintaining their contact as long as possible. His hands slid down the full length of her arms and, catching her fingers, he held on to the tips with his own.
“Good night, my wife,” he whispered, then turned away. “I shall be lonely without you.”
Julia left the room quickly, knowing that if she stayed a moment longer, she’d end up in the bed next to Alek.…
Julia found it surprisingly easy to avoid Alek. Their schedules were different and they drove to work in separate cars. She left for the office early, before he awoke. In the afternoons she visited her grandmother, then ate a quiet meal by herself. She was usually preparing for bed about the time Alek returned from the lab.
He was working long, hard hours, getting ready to put his latest research into production. From the weekly reports he sent her, she knew that they were speeding ahead; the marketing and distribution plans for Phoenix Paints were under way. The advertising blitz had yet to be decided, but that was coming. Everything looked promising.
But then, it had looked promising three years ago, too. Yet within the course of a single week she’d lost her father, been betrayed by the man she loved and nearly destroyed a business that had been in the family for four generations.
Julia had learned harsh but valuable lessons about promises. Probably the most painful lessons of her life. She’d come away convinced she could trust only a cherished few. Equally important, she’d learned never, ever to cash in on mere potential. The promise of a check in the mail wasn’t money in the bank.
Dear heavens, she mused as she left the office, she was becoming very philosophical. Perhaps that was what marriage did to a woman.
Marriage.
Even the word sounded strange to her. She was married for better or worse. Married. After her tirade on their wedding night, when she’d pleaded, threatened and tried to reason with Alek, she’d decided he was right. There was no backing out now. They were married, for better or worse.
Her decision was prompted by a certain amount of pride. Jerry had made sure the news of their wedding was carried by the local newspapers. The business community and their acquaintances would know about her marriage. It would be acutely embarrassing to seek an annulment so soon after the ceremony.
Mentally she added vanity to her growing list of character defects.
“Julia,” Ruth said weakly when she entered the hospital room, “what are you doing here?”
Julia grinned as she leaned forward to kiss her grandmother’s pale cheek. “It’s good to see you, too.”
“Alek will never forgive me.”
“Alek is hard at work,” she assured Ruth.
“But you’re newlyweds.”
Julia’s gaze skirted past her grandmother’s. “He’s been so busy lately. I’d rather spend time with you than go home to an empty apartment.”
“I worry about you,” Ruth said, her voice growing weaker.
“Worry?” Julia repeated. “There’s no need. Our schedules are hectic just now. Coming here is the best thing for me.… That way, when Alek gets home, I’m calm and relaxed.”
“Good. He’s such a dear boy. You married well.… I so want you to be happy—it’s what you deserve. Your season of pain is past now that you have Alek.”
Julia wanted to avoid the subject of her husband. “Would you like me to read to you?”
“Please. From the book of Psalms, if you would?”
“Of course.” Julia reached for the well-worn Bible and sat in the chair next to her grandmother’s bed and began. She read long past the moment Ruth had fallen asleep. Long past the dinner hour. Long past the time she should leave for home.
The night was hot and muggy, the air heavy. Her air-conditioning system must not be working properly because it felt like the hottest night of the year. Even her skimpy, baby-doll pajamas seemed clammy and constricting.
Sleep seemed just beyond her grasp no matter how hard she tried to capture it. The night was still and dark, and she flopped from her side to her back, then onto her side once more, attempting to find the touch of a cool breeze. But there was none.
Another hour passed and she gave up the effort. Getting out of bed, she moved into the living room, standing in front of the window. A few scattered lights flickered from Puget Sound. The last ferry crossing before dawn, she guessed, on its way to Winslow on Bainbridge Island.
The lights from Alki Point gleamed in the distance.
Julia had no idea how long she stood there, looking into the still, dark night. Raising her arms high above her head, she stretched, standing on her toes. The thin fabric of her pajama top rustled. Her hair felt damp and heavy and she lifted the long tresses from the back of her neck. She shook her head, sending a spray of hair in a circle around her face.
She heard the briefest of noises behind her and whirled around to see a shadow unfold from the chair. Alek stood. He wore only the bottom half of his pajamas and his hard chest glistened in the muted light.
“Alek,” she said breathlessly.
“I couldn’t sleep, either,” he told her.
“How…long have you been here?” she demanded.
“I wasn’t spying on you, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
“I…you startled me, that’s all.”
“Come sit with me.”
She shook her head again and watched as his jaw tightened at her refusal.
“We’re married,” he reminded her. “You can’t ignore me the rest of your life. We made a bargain, which has yet to be fulfilled.”
Why he chose to bring up the subject of their marriage now, Julia didn’t know. They’d lived peacefully together for nearly two weeks, barely seeing each other, rarely talking. She’d almost convinced herself they could continue like this forever.
“I don’t want to talk about our marriage.”
She sensed that his irritation turned to amusement. “No, I don’t imagine you do,” he said.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Fine. I forgive you. Now sit and we can talk.”
Julia hesitated, then decided it would do more harm than good to refuse him. She sank onto the sofa across from him. Holding a decorative pillow to her stomach helped ease her discomfort over her state of undress, although not by much.
“How is your grandmother?”
“About the same. I talked to her doctor this afternoon and he said…” She paused, biting her lip. “He said we shouldn’t expect her to return home.”
“Is she in pain?”
“Yes, sometimes, although she tries to hide it from me. Listen, do you mind if we don’t talk about Ruth, either?”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean to bring up a subject that causes you distress.”
Julia lowered her eyes. “It’s just that…she’s so important to me. Ruth’s all the family Jerry and I have left.”
“Your mother died years ago, didn’t she?”
Julia wasn’t surprised he knew that, since he and Jerry had been friends since her brother’s college days, when they’d met in Europe. “When I was fifteen, and as you probably recall, my father,” she added, “died three years ago…shortly after the fire.”
Silence stretched between them. Julia’s pressure on the pillow increased. Even in the darkened room, she could feel his smoldering gaze move caressingly over her. He wanted her and was growing impatient. Her heart pounded with dread and some other emotion. Regret? Perhaps…yearning?
“Please don’t look at me like that,” she begged. It seemed as if his eyes were about to devour her. He wanted her to know how much he longed to make love to her. The memory of his kisses returned to haunt her and she tried to dispel the image before it took root in her mind and her heart.
“You’re very beautiful.”
She’d heard those meaningless words before. Beauty was fleeting and counted for little of real value in life. Being outwardly attractive hadn’t made her a better judge of character. It didn’t do one iota of good as far as her grandmother’s health was concerned. If anything, it had been a curse, because it attracted the wrong kind of man.
“This makes you sad?”
She shrugged. “Beauty means nothing.”
“You are wise to recognize that.”
“Then why do you mention it?”
“Because you were not beautiful, not in the same way, when we first met. It’s only recently that I’ve come to appreciate that you are a real woman.”
A real woman. Julia nearly laughed aloud. “This is what makes being married to you and not sleeping with you so difficult. Have you reconsidered yet, my love? Come with me, share my bed.”
“I…can’t, please don’t ask me.” Her response was immediate. Tossing the pillow aside, she leapt to her feet, needing to escape. “Good night, Alek.”
He didn’t answer and she didn’t look back as she rushed to her room. Her heart was roaring in her ears when she reached the bed. Not for the first time she felt like the fox in an English hunt, and the baying of the hounds was closing in on her.
“Julia.”
She nearly fell off the bed when she looked up and found Alek framed in her doorway. Her breath froze in her lungs.
“Someday you won’t run from me.”
“I wasn’t running from you.” It was a lie and they both knew it, yet Julia persisted in claiming otherwise.
His smile was more than a little cocky. “Someday you will come to me voluntarily.”
She wasn’t going to argue with him. He watched her closely in the muted moonlight and she studied him with equal intensity. She suddenly realized her top had inched up and exposed her breasts. Furiously she tugged it down, glaring at him as though he’d purposely arranged the immodest display.
He smiled roguishly at her. “As I said earlier, you are very beautiful.” Then he turned and left.
After a sleepless, frustrating night, Julia was in no mood to deal with a long list of complicated problems. Virginia, her middle-aged assistant, looked apologetic when Julia arrived at the office early the next morning.
“Please get my brother on the line when you can,” Julia said. Her mind was made up. She wanted out of this farce of a marriage.
“He’s already called for you.” Virginia hugged a file folder against her chest. “He asked that you call him the moment you got here.”
Julia reached for her phone and punched out the extension. Jerry answered on the first ring. “Come down to my office,” he said impatiently.
“Now?”
“Right now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
This morning was quickly going from bad to worse, much like her life. She paused, catching herself. Her thoughts hadn’t always been this negative. When had it started? The wedding? No, she decided—long before then. Three years before… She wondered why she was so aware of it now.
She rounded the corner that led to the suite of offices her brother occupied on the floor below her own.
“Jerry, what’s this all about?” she asked before she noticed Alek. She halted when she saw her husband sitting in one of the visitor’s chairs, waiting for her.
“Sit down.” Her brother motioned toward Alek.
Julia did as he asked. Jerry paced back and forth behind his desk. “I was contacted this morning by the Immigration people. I knew this would happen, I just didn’t expect it to be quite so soon.”
“We’re being investigated?” Alek murmured.
Jerry nodded. “The two of you are going to have to convince them you’re madly in love. Do you think you can do it?”
Julia saw that he focused his gaze on her. “Ah…”
“Yes,” Alek responded without hesitation.
“Julia, what about you?”
“Ah…” She’d never been good with pretense.
“She’ll convince them.” Alek revealed far more confidence in her than she had in herself. “It won’t take much effort.” He reached for her hand, gripping it in his own. “All we need is a little practice, isn’t that right, Julia?”
Five (#u239a6127-62a5-5f95-acbb-9e2f453bfff4)
Only seconds earlier Julia had decided she wanted to end this charade of a marriage, no matter what the price. Just when it seemed that very thing was about to happen, she discovered herself willing to do whatever was necessary to keep their relationship intact.
Counseling. That was what she needed, Julia thought. Intensive counseling. She wasn’t an indecisive woman; that would be a death knell for someone in her position. Generally she knew what she wanted and went after it with a determination that left everyone in her wake shaking their heads in wonder.
It was Aleksandr who managed to discomfit and confuse her. It was Alek who made her feel as though she was walking through quicksand.
“Julia?” Jerry turned the full force of his attention on her. “Can you do it?”
Both men were studying her. Could she pretend to be in love with Alek? Pretend her happiness hinged on spending the rest of her life with him? Could she?
“I…I don’t know.”
“Shall I repeat what’s at stake here?” Jerry muttered.
It wasn’t necessary; he’d gone over the consequences of their actions when he’d proposed the idea of marrying Alek in the first place. The government did much more than frown upon such unions. There was the possibility of jail time if they weren’t able to persuade the Immigration department of their sincerity.
“Julia knows,” Alek assured Jerry calmly. “Isn’t that right?”
She lowered her eyes. “I’m fully aware of what could happen.”
“That’s fine and dandy, but can you be convincing enough to satisfy the Immigration people?” Jerry demanded.
She nodded slowly, thoughtfully. It wasn’t just a question of being able to pull this off with the finesse required; it also meant lowering her guard, opening her heart to the truth. She was attracted to him, both physically and emotionally. Otherwise she wouldn’t have participated in or enjoyed the few times they’d kissed. The most important factor wasn’t her ability to fool Immigration, but resurrecting the shield protecting her against the pull she felt toward Alek.
To complicate matters, the attachment she felt was growing stronger every day. She often found herself thinking about him. Hard as it was to admit, Julia had discovered she enjoyed his company and looked forward to the short time they spent together in the evenings.
“You’re sure?” Jerry asked, sounding as if he thought she was anything but.
“Positive,” she said, chancing a look in Alek’s direction. He caught her eye and smiled reassuringly. Taking her hand, he squeezed her fingers.
“We’ll do just fine,” Alek said to Jerry. “Wait and see. What both of you fail to realize is that Julia and I did marry for love.”
“Stop pacing,” Alek said, more testily than he intended. The Immigration officer was due in fifteen minutes and Julia was understandably nervous. Unable to sit still, she stalked the living room.
“Walking helps take my mind off the interview,” Julia snapped back.
The tension between them was thick enough to slice and serve for dinner. That would hurt their case more than anything they said or did. The man or woman doing the interview would sense the strain immediately and count it against them.
“You should know more about me,” Julia said, whirling around to face him as if this was a new thought. “The brand of toothpaste I use and stuff like that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not…. That’s exactly the kind of questions he’ll ask.”
“Julia, my love,” he said patiently, “a man doesn’t pay attention to such things. Now relax.”
“How can you be so calm?” Julia shrugged, raising both hands. “Our future hinges on the outcome of this meeting. There’s a very real possibility I could go to jail for involving myself in this…marriage.” Her arms seemed to have lost their purpose and fell lifelessly to her sides. “I’m not the only one who has a lot at stake with this. Your mother and sister’s plans depend on the outcome, as well. Didn’t you mention you’ve already seen to the necessary paperwork for them?”
“I’m aware of the consequences.”
“Then how can you be so calm?”
“Very simple, my love.” He said this evenly and without emotion as he leaned forward, clasped her around the waist and brought her down into his lap.
Julia struggled at first. “Stop,” she said, wriggling against him. “What are you trying to do?”
He let her struggle, but her efforts were weak. His arms were around her and he felt her yielding. Taking advantage of her acquiescence, he brushed his face against her hair. She’d left it down, at his request, and he gathered the length of it in his hands, loving its clean jasmine scent.
“Alek, are you insane?”
He dropped a trail of moist kisses along her throat and shoulder. “That’s better,” he whispered as her tight muscles relaxed. “Much better.”
“I…I don’t think we should be doing this.”
“What?” he asked as his hand caressed her back in a slow, soothing motion. “This?” He eased her against the chair until her hair spilled over his arm. A sigh escaped her as he pressed his lips to hers.
Julia felt hot, then cold and shaky in his embrace, but no more so than he. They’d kissed a handful of times and each had been a battle for him. His wife had balked at his touch in the beginning, then gradually she’d opened herself to him until he was so needy he ached.
This time the skirmish between them was over even before it started. Julia accepted his kiss with little more than a token protest. Perhaps she was ready for more.…
He broke off the kiss and told her how badly he needed her. He pleaded with her as only a man who needs his wife can implore. It wasn’t until he saw the confusion in her eyes that he realized he’d spoken in his native tongue. His English was hopeless just then.
Julia’s fingers were digging into his shoulders. He felt the rapid beat of her heart and heard the ragged echo of her breath as it rasped in his ear.
The doorbell chimed and Alek would have ignored it if Julia hadn’t frozen and then jumped from his lap as though she’d caught fire.
“Oh, my goodness,” she cried. Her face was a rich shade of red as she swept back her hair. “The interviewer is here.” She stared at him as if he had the magical power to make everything right.
“That would be my guess.”
“Alek.” Her voice shook as she quickly adjusted her clothes. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. Everything will be fine,” he said. He gave her a moment to fuss with her hair before he stood, kissed her lightly on the lips and answered the door.
Although Alek appeared outwardly composed, he was as shaken as Julia. And not because their future hung in the balance. His head reeled with the aftershock of their kissing. A few kisses, he’d thought, to take the edge off their nervousness. In another five minutes, he would’ve carried her to his bed.…
“Hello,” Alek said, opening the door to admit a lanky, official-looking gentleman. He wore a crisp business suit and from the tight set of his mouth, Alek guessed he would brook no foolishness. His expression was sharp and unfriendly.
“Patrick O’Dell,” he said.
“My name is Alek and this is my wife, Julia,” Alek said.
Julia stood on the far side of the room, her smile fleeting and strained. “Welcome to our home, Mr. O’Dell. Would you care to sit down?”
“Thank you.” He moved into the living room and didn’t pause to look at the view. Indeed, there might not have been one for all the notice O’Dell took. He sat on the recliner they’d recently vacated and set his briefcase on the coffee table.
Alek walked over to Julia’s side and held her hand in his. Together they ventured to the sofa opposite the interviewer and sat down.
Mr. O’Dell removed a file from his briefcase. He scanned the contents, then frowned with clear disapproval. “How did you two meet?”
“Through my brother,” Julia said quickly. “He’d met Alek several years earlier while he was in Europe. They corresponded for a number of years and then after the fire…” She hesitated and turned to Alek.
“Jerry offered me a job in this country almost three years ago. I’ve lived here for the past two.”
“Tell me about your work.”
Alek answered the questions thoroughly, while minimizing his importance to Conrad Industries. No need to raise suspicions.
“Alek is a gifted biochemist,” Julia added with unnecessary enthusiasm. “The company was nearly ruined a few years back following the fire I mentioned. I don’t know what would’ve become of us if it hadn’t been for Alek.”
Although he smiled, Alek was groaning inwardly. Julia was offering far more information than necessary. He wished now that they’d gone over what they planned to say. Jerry had advised them to do so, but Alek had felt spontaneity would serve them better than a series of practiced responses.
“In other words, you needed Mr. Berinski.”
“Yes, very much so.” Julia was nothing if not honest.
“Do you continue to need him?” the interviewer pressed.
“No,” Alek answered before Julia could.
“I disagree,” she returned, looking briefly at Alek. “I find we need him more than ever now. The new line of paints Alek’s been working on for the past two years is ready to be marketed. That’s only the beginning of the ideas he’s developing.”
Alek’s concern mounted as O’Dell made a notation. Julia really was as bad at pretense as she’d claimed.
“My husband has worked hard on this project. He deserves to reap the fruits of his labors.” Fortunately, Julia didn’t stumble over the word husband. She’d said it a number of times since their marriage and it always seemed to cause her difficulty.
“You give me more credit than I deserve, my dear,” he murmured, feeling they’d dug themselves into a pit.
“Nonsense,” Julia said, obviously warming to her subject. “Alek is a genius.”
Another notation.
Alek squeezed Julia’s fingers, willing her to stop speaking, but the more he tried to discourage her, the more she went on.
“If you two held each other in such high esteem, why did you wait until Alek’s visa had almost expired before you agreed to marry?”
“Love isn’t always planned,” Julia answered quickly. “No one completely understands matters of the heart, do they? I know I didn’t.” She glanced shyly toward Alek.
“I understand why the Immigration department is suspicious of our marriage,” Alek added. “We realized you would be when we decided to go ahead and marry. It didn’t make any difference.”
Another notation, this one made with sharp jagged movements of his pen.
There were several more questions, which they answered as forthrightly as possible. Alek was uncertain of how well they were coming across. He’d rarely heard Julia sound more animated and, to his surprise, sincere. When he’d first learned of the interview, his biggest concern had been Julia, but now he suspected she’d be his strongest asset.
If he was forced to return to Russia, Alek would go, because he had no other choice. He hadn’t dwelled on the consequences, refusing to allow any negative suggestions to enter his mind. He realized as they were speaking how much he’d hate to leave Julia.
“I think that answers everything,” O’Dell said, closing his file and placing it back in his briefcase.
The unexpectedness of his announcement caught Alek off guard.
“That’s all?” Apparently Julia was as astonished as he was. “You don’t want to know what brand of toothpaste Alek uses or about his personal habits?”
The official smiled for the first time. “We leave that sort of interrogation for the movies. It’s obvious to me that you two care deeply for each other. I wish all my assignments were as easy.”
“Will I need to sign anything?” Julia asked.
“No,” O’Dell said as he stood. “I’ll file my report by the end of the week. I don’t believe there’s any reason for us to be in further contact with you. I appreciate your agreeing to see me on such short notice.”
Alek stood in order to escort Mr. O’Dell to the door. Julia seemed to be in a state of shock. She sat on the sofa, her mouth hanging open, staring up at the official with a baffled, uncertain look.
“Thank you again for your trouble,” Patrick O’Dell said when Alek opened the front door.
“Julia and I should be the ones thanking you.”
The two men exchanged handshakes. Alek closed the door with relief and leaned against the frame. He slowly expelled his breath.
“Julia.” He whispered her name as he returned to the living room. She hadn’t moved. “We did it.”
She nodded as though she was in a trance.
“You were fantastic.”
Her eyes went to him and she blinked. “Me?”
“You were straightforward and honest. At first I was worried. I thought you were giving him far more information than necessary. Then I realized that was what convinced him. You acted as though you had nothing to hide. As if our staying married meant all the world to you. It wasn’t anything I said or did, it was you.”
“Me?” she repeated again, sounding close to tears.
Alek knelt down in front of her and took her hands. “Are you all right?”
Sniffling, she shook her head. The ordeal had been a strain, but he was surprised by her response. Julia wasn’t the type of woman to buckle easily. Nor did she weep without provocation. Something was definitely going on.
“What’s wrong?” he asked tenderly, resisting the urge to take her in his arms.
Tears filled her eyes and she made an effort to blink them away. “I think I’ll go lie down for a while. I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”
Alek didn’t want her to leave. He was hoping they could pick up where they’d left off before they were interrupted by O’Dell’s arrival. The craving she’d created in him had yet to be satisfied. He wanted her to share his bed. She was his wife. They belonged together.
Alek had learned enough about Julia to know that she’d come to him in her own time, when she was ready and not before. He prayed he had the patience to wait her out.
As she lay in her bed, pretending to nap, Julia realized it wasn’t until the Immigration official had stood to leave that she’d recognized how sincere she was in what she’d told him. She’d answered the questions as candidly as possible, becoming more fervent the longer she spoke. It had suddenly struck her that Alek was as important to her personally as he was to the company. Perhaps more so. That came as an unexpected shock.
He’d been patient and loving and kind. His kisses stirred her soul. That sounded fanciful, overdramatic, but she was at a loss to explain it otherwise.
Heaven help her, she was falling in love with him. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. She didn’t want to love him, didn’t want to care about him. After Phoenix Paints was launched and he’d established his mother and sister in the country, she wanted Alek out of her life. That was what she’d planned. Involving her heart would be both foolish and dangerous. She’d already learned her lesson when it came to trusting a man. Roger had taught her well.
“Julia?” His voice was a whisper. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting Alek to know she was awake. Afraid he might want to resume what they’d started…
Her face filled with color at the memory of their kisses. She couldn’t believe the liberties Alek had taken with her earlier that afternoon. Worse, liberties she’d encouraged and enjoyed. She would be forever grateful that Mr. O’Dell had arrived when he had.
Julia had eventually drifted off. Because of her nap, she was unable to sleep that evening. Hoping to sidestep any questions from Alek, she’d gone to the hospital to visit Ruth later in the afternoon.
The condo was empty when she returned and Julia guessed Alek had gone to the lab to work. Feeling somewhat guilty, she microwaved her dinner, hoping he’d pick up something for himself while he was out.
He wasn’t back by the time she showered and readied for bed. She should’ve been grateful; instead she found herself waiting for him. It was nearly eleven when she heard the front door open. Light from the kitchen spilled into the hallway outside her bedroom as he rummaged around, apparently looking for dinner.
A second bout of guilt didn’t improve her disposition. Knowing next to nothing about cooking should prove beyond a doubt what a terrible wife she was. Another, more domesticated woman would have been knitting by the fireplace, awaiting his return with a delectable meal warming in the oven. Forget that it was summer; this imaginary dutiful wife would have a cozy fire roaring anyway.
Then, when he’d eaten, she’d remove her housecoat and stand before him dressed only in a sheer nightie.
But Alek hadn’t married the ideal wife; instead he was stuck with her.
“Julia?”
She was so surprised by the sound of her name that she lifted her head from the pillow.
“I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No…I hadn’t gone to sleep yet.” She sat up in bed and tugged the sheets protectively around her.
His shadow loomed against the opposite wall like…like some kind of fairy-tale monster. But try as she might, Julia couldn’t make him into one.
“How’s your grandmother?” he asked.
She shrugged hopelessly. It became more apparent with every visit that Ruth wouldn’t last much longer. A part of Julia clung to her grandmother and another part struggled to release Ruth from this life and the pain that accompanied it.
“You were at the lab?”
Alek nodded.
“Is it really necessary for you to work so many hours?”
Alek crossed his arms and leaned against the door-jamb. “Work helps me deal with my frustration.”
He didn’t need to clarify his answer. Julia knew he was referring to the sexual disappointment of their marriage.
When she didn’t respond, he sighed and added, “I know why everything went so smoothly with the Immigration official. You, my dear wife, are in love with me.”
The audacity of the comment was shocking. “I’m what?”
“In love with me,” he repeated.
“You’re badly in need of some reality therapy,” Julia said, making her words as scathing as she could. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.”
“Wait, I promise you it’ll get better. Much better.”
“Much worse, you mean,” she said with an exaggerated yawn. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get some sleep.”
“Later. We need to talk.”
“Alek, please, it’s nearly midnight.”
“You’ve already admitted you hadn’t been to sleep.”
“Exactly,” she said. “And I need my rest.”
“So do I.”
“Then leave it until morning,” she suggested next.
“You’re my wife. How long will it take before you live up to your end of our bargain?”
“I…already explained I need time…to adjust to everything. Why are you doing this?” she cried, furious with him for dragging out a subject she considered closed. “I refuse to be pressured into making love just because you’ve got an overactive libido.”
“Pressured,” he echoed, and a deep frown formed. He rubbed his hand over his face, sighing audibly. “I’ve been waiting for you since our wedding night. You agreed that we’d be married in every sense of the word.”
“It’s only been a few weeks,” she protested.
“Ah, but you love me. You proved it this afternoon. There’s no need to wait any longer, Julia. I need you, and you need me.” With a knowing smile, he turned and walked away.
The comment irritated her so much she couldn’t bear to let it go unanswered. Grabbing her pillow with both hands, she threw it after him. It hit the doorframe with a soft thud that was barely discernible. She knew Alek heard it, however, because he started laughing.
The following morning, as was her habit, Julia rose early and stood barefoot in the kitchen while she waited for the first cup of coffee to filter into the glass pot. The aroma pervaded the kitchen.
“Morning.” Alek spoke groggily from behind her.
Julia’s eyes flew open. Normally Alek didn’t get up until after she’d left for work. “Morning,” she greeted him with little enthusiasm.
“Did you sleep well?”
No. “Fine. How about you?” Her attention remained focused on the coffeepot. She didn’t dare turn around to confront her rumpled, groggy husband. Knowing he was only a few feet behind her activated her imagination. His hair was probably unkempt and his eyes drowsy, the way hers were. He’d look sexy and appealing.
“Julia,” he whispered, moving forward. He slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. “We can’t go on like this. We’re married. When are you going to recognize that?”
She braced her hands against his, which were joined at her stomach. His lips located the pulse pounding at the side of her neck and he kissed her. Small, soft kisses…
Julia’s breath caught in her throat. “Alek, please, don’t.”
“Stop?” He raised his head as though she couldn’t have meant it.
“Yes.”
“I couldn’t sleep for want of you,” he whispered.
Her throat felt as dry as a desert. Speaking was impossible.
“All I could think about was how good you tasted and how much I wanted to hold you and kiss you again,” he went on.
The coffee had finished brewing, but Julia couldn’t make herself move.
“I know you want me, too. Why do you torture us like this?”
“I…have to get to work.” Each syllable was a triumph.
“Let me make love to you,” Alek urged, his mouth close to her ear.
“No. We can’t. I…I’ll be late for work.” She didn’t wait for him to argue with her, but rushed toward her bedroom. Toward sanity.
By the time Julia reached her office, she was in a terrible mood. She blamed Alek for this. As much as she wished it, she wasn’t made of stone. She was flesh and blood. A woman. When he kissed her and touched her she experienced a certain sexual yearning.
It was inevitable. A mere physiological reaction. It meant nothing. He insisted she was in love with him, but Julia knew that was just talk. Sweet talk, with a single purpose. To seduce her.
Julia had been seduced before, by an artful master. In comparison, Alek was so much more honest and, therefore, easier to defend herself against. She refused to give in to his pressure, subtle or otherwise. As for misleading him, she had, but only to a limited degree.
Furious now, she marched into her office, reached for her phone and dialed Jerry’s extension. “Can you come up?”
“Yes. Is everything okay?”
“No.”
Jerry paused. “I thought things went hunky-dory with the inspector.”
“They did, as far as I know. This has to do with Alek.”
“I’ll be right up,” her brother said.
She was pacing her office with precise steps when he arrived. Julia stopped, angry with herself, feeling close to tears and not understanding why.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his concern evident in his eyes.
“I…there’s a problem.”
“With what?”
“Whom,” she corrected. “Aleksandr Berinski.”
Jerry frowned, then sighed with resignation. “What’s he done?”
“Everything… Listen, I don’t want to get into this. Let me make this as plain and simple as I can. I think it’s time he moved out of the condo. One of us has to and it’s either him or me.”
Six (#ulink_83cb6a8c-b07f-5443-9b3f-28ed6b217424)
“You want Alek out of your condo?” Jerry repeated.
“You heard me the first time,” she said impatiently. “Our marriage has been sanctioned by the government. What reason do we have to continue this charade?”
“Julia…”
She’d heard that tone all too often. “Jerry, I’m not in any mood to argue with you.” She walked around her desk and claimed her seat. Reaching for a file from her in-basket, she opened it. “I’ll leave the arrangements in your hands.”
“Do you plan to talk this over with Alek?”
She hadn’t thought of that. “It…won’t be necessary. He’ll get the picture once he hears from you.”
“I won’t do it.”
Her brother’s refusal caught her attention as nothing else could have. “What do you mean, you won’t do it?”
“First, I won’t have you treating Alek as though he’s…some pest you’re trying to get rid of.”
“It wouldn’t be like that,” she insisted, realizing even as she spoke that Jerry was right. She couldn’t treat Alek this way.
“Secondly,” her brother said, “it’d be crazy to throw everything away now. You think that just because you’ve passed some interview with an Immigration official, you’re in the clear. Think again, Julia. That’s exactly the kind of thing the government’s expecting.”
“They won’t know.”
“Don’t count on it. They make it their business to know.”
“Jerry, please.” She rarely pleaded with her brother. “The man’s impossible.… I’ve done my duty. What more do you expect of me?”
“Alek is your husband.”
“You’re beginning to sound just like him! He frightens me.… He makes me feel things I don’t want to feel. I’m scared, Jerry, really scared.” Close to tears, she covered her mouth, fearing she’d break down.
“I don’t know what to do,” Jerry said with a sympathetic shrug. “I wish I did, for your sake. Alek’s, too.”
With nothing left to say, he returned to his own office.
Her mood didn’t improve when two hours later Alek unexpectedly showed up. He walked into her office without waiting for her assistant to announce him. Julia happened to be on the phone at the time and she glanced up, irritated by the intrusion. Alek glared at her, and every minute she delayed appeared to infuriate him further.
He began to pace, pausing every other step to turn and scowl in her direction.
Julia finished her conversation as quickly as she could without being rude—and without letting him believe he was intimidating her.
“You wanted something?” she asked calmly as she replaced the receiver.
Anger was etched on his features. “Yes, I do. I understand you spoke to Jerry this morning about one of us moving. I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.”
Julia folded her hands on her desk. “It seemed the logical thing to do.”
“Why?”
She stood, feeling at a distinct disadvantage sitting. “It makes sense. The only reason we were living together was for show because—”
“We’re living together, my dear wife, because we’re married.”
“In name only.”
He muttered something blistering in Russian, and Julia was grateful she couldn’t understand him.
“You deny your vows. You abuse my pride by involving your brother. You ask for patience and then stab me in the back.”
“I…explained on our wedding day that I need time. I let you know you were being cheated in this marriage. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” Contacting Jerry had been wrong, she saw now. But she was frightened and growing more so each day. No longer could she ignore the powerful attraction she felt for Alek. No longer could she ignore his touch. He was chipping away at the barrier she’d erected to protect herself from feelings. From love. He was working his way into her life and her heart. She had to do something.
“You are my wife,” Alek shouted.
Julia closed her eyes at the anger in his voice.
“I’m not a very good one,” she whispered.
“We are married, Julia. When will you accept that?” He turned away from her and stalked to the door.
“I…don’t know if I can.”
At her words, he spun around.
They stood no more than a few feet apart, yet an ocean might have lain between them. He was furious with her and she with him.
“I may never be your wife in the way you want.” Julia didn’t know what drove her to say that.
And yet, at the same moment, she realized she wanted him. Needed him. And that frightened her half to death.
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” he asked as if he could read her thoughts. “Afraid you aren’t woman enough to satisfy me. That’s what’s behind all this, isn’t it? That, and the fact that you’re afraid to trust another man. But I’m not like the one who hurt you, Julia, whoever he was. I’m not like him at all. I respect you—and I want you. Which, if you’re honest, is how you feel about me, too.”
Stricken, Julia closed her eyes. It felt as if he’d blinded her with the truth, identified her fears, hurled them at her to explain or reject.
“Julia?”
She sobbed once, the sound nearly hysterical as she backed away from him.
“I didn’t mean…” he began.
She stopped him by holding out her arm.
He cursed under his breath, and reaching for her, drew her into his arms. She didn’t resist. Without pause he lowered his head and covered her mouth, sealing their lips together in a wild kiss. The craziness increased with each impatient twist of their heads, growing in frenzied desperation.
Her breasts tingled and her body grew hot as his powerful hands held her against him. It was where she wanted to be.…
His hands were busy with the zipper at the back of her straight, no-nonsense business skirt. It hissed as he lowered it. Julia made a token protest, which he cut off with a bone-melting kiss.
“I’m through fighting you,” he whispered. “Will you stop fighting me?”
He gently brought his mouth back to hers. They were so close Julia felt as if they were drawing in the same breath, as if they required only one heart to beat between them.
Sobbing, she slid her arms around his neck and buried her face, taking deep, uneven breaths. Not understanding her own desperate need, she clung to him as a low cry emerged from her lips. The grief she felt was overwhelming. She was lamenting the wasted years, when she’d closed herself off from life. Ever since her father’s death and Roger’s betrayal, she’d lived in limbo, rejecting love and laughter. Rejecting and punishing herself.
“Julia,” Alek whispered, stroking her hair, “what is it?”
She shook her head, unable to answer.
“Say it,” he told her softly, sitting in her chair and taking her with him so she was nestled in his lap. “Tell me you need me. Tell me you want me, too.”
She sobbed and with tears streaming down her face, she nodded.
“That’s not good enough. I want the words.”
“I…need you. Oh, Alek, I’m so scared.”
He held her, kissed her gently, reassured her while she rested her head on his shoulder and cried until her tears were spent.
“I don’t know why you put up with me,” she finally gasped.
“You don’t?” he asked, chuckling softly. “I have the feeling you’ll figure it out soon enough, my love.”
Her intercom hummed and Virginia’s voice echoed through the silence. “Your nine-thirty appointment is here.”
Her eyes regretfully met Alek’s.
“Send whoever it is away,” Alek urged.
“I…I can’t do that.”
“I know,” he said, and kissed the tip of her nose. He released her slowly.
Just when Julia was convinced her day couldn’t possibly get any more complicated, she received a call from Virginia Mason Hospital. Her grandmother had slipped into a coma.
Jerry was away, so she left a message for him and for Alek, canceled her appointments for the rest of the day and drove directly to the hospital.
Julia realized the instant she walked into her grandmother’s room that Ruth’s hold on life was tenuous, a slender thread. Her heart was failing, and Julia felt as though her own heart was in jeopardy, too.
In the past few years she’d faced a handful of crises, starting with the fire that had nearly destroyed the business and their family. Her father’s death had followed. Immediately afterward she’d realized Roger had used her, had sold out her family. And her.
Ruth, her beloved Ruth, was dying, and Julia was powerless to stop it. She was terrified. For the past months she’d watched helplessly as her grandmother’s health deteriorated.
Sitting at Ruth’s bedside now, Julia could almost hear the older woman’s calming voice. “My death is inevitable—” the unspoken words rang in her head “—but not unwelcome.”
Silently Julia pleaded with her grandmother to live just a little longer, to give her time to adjust, to grant her a few days to gather her courage. Even as she spoke, Julia recognized how selfish she was being, thinking of herself, of her own pain. But she couldn’t make herself stop praying that God would spare her grandmother.
“You have walked through your pain,” the silent voice continued. “The journey has made you wiser and far stronger than you know.”
Julia wanted to argue. She didn’t feel strong. Not when it seemed Ruth was about to be taken from her. She felt pushed to the limits, looking both ways—toward despair in one direction and hope in the other, toward doubt and faith.
An hour passed as Julia struggled with her grief, refusing to let it overwhelm her. Fear controlled her, the knowledge that if she gave in to her grief, she might never regain her sanity.
“Please,” she pleaded aloud, praying Ruth heard her. It was the selfish prayer of a frightened child.
Jerry arrived, pale and shaken. “What happened?”
Julia shrugged. Their grandmother’s physician, Dr. Silverman, had been in earlier to explain the medical symptoms and reasons. Most of what he’d said had meant only one thing. Ruth was close to death.
“She’s in a coma,” Julia answered. “I talked to her doctor earlier. He’s surprised she’s hung on this long.”
Her brother pulled out a chair and sat down next to Julia. “I love this old woman, really love her.”
“What are we going to do without her, Jerry?”
Her brother shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ll make do the way we always have, I suppose.”
“I’m going to miss her so much.” Julia heard the tears in her voice.
“I know.” He reached for Julia’s hand and gently squeezed it. “Alek phoned. He’ll be here as soon as he can.”
Julia instinctively wanted Alek with her. She’d never needed him like this before. That thought produced another regret. Alek was devoted to her and she didn’t deserve it. She’d treated him terribly and yet he loved her.
Her grief, fed by her burning tears and broken dreams, was overwhelming. She couldn’t sit still; she stood and started pacing, then returned to her chair.
They sat silently for another hour. She did what she could to make her grandmother more comfortable. She held Ruth’s hand, read her favorite passages from Scripture, stroked her forehead.
“I have to go.” Jerry spoke from behind her.
Understanding, Julia nodded. She loved her brother and knew he was grieving in his own way. She was grateful he was leaving; she preferred this time alone with Ruth.
“When will you go home?” he asked.
“I don’t know yet.”
The next thing she heard was the sound of the door closing. Being alone was a relief and a burden. Julia recognized the inconsistency of her reactions. Never had she craved Alek’s company more, and yet she wanted these hours alone with her grandmother, sensing that it would be the last time they’d be together.
She found it ironic that hope and despair could feel the same to her.
The nurses came in a number of times. One encouraged her to take a break, go have some dinner, but Julia refused. She was afraid to leave, fearing that once she did, her grandmother would quietly release her hold on life.
Leaning her forehead against the side of the hospital bed, Julia must have dozed because the next thing she knew Alek was there.
“How is she?”
“There’s been no change.”
Alek sat down next to Julia. “Have you had dinner?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Alek nodded and when he spoke again it was in his own language, which had a distinct beauty. Whatever he was saying seemed to please her grandmother because Ruth smiled. At first Julia was convinced she’d imagined it, which would’ve been easy enough to do. But there was no denying the change in Ruth’s ashen features.
“It’s midnight, my love.”
Julia glanced at her watch, sure he was mistaken. She must have slept longer than she’d realized.
“Come,” he said, standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll drive you home.”
She shook her head, unwilling to leave.
“You aren’t doing her any good, and you’re running yourself down, both physically and mentally.”
“You go ahead,” she said. “I’ll stay a little longer.”
She heard the frustration in his sigh. “I’m not leaving without you. You’re exhausted.”
“I’m afraid to leave her,” she whispered brokenly. The time had come for the truth, painful though it was. Julia was surprised she’d chosen to voice it to Alek and not her brother.
“Why?” her husband inquired gently.
She was glad he was standing behind her and couldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “If Ruth dies, when she dies, a part of me will go with her.” The best part, Julia feared. Something would perish in her own heart. Her faith in God and in herself would be shaken, and she wondered if this time the damage would be beyond repair.
“Do you wish to bind her to this life, this pain?”
“No,” Julia answered honestly. Yet she held on to Ruth fiercely.
A part of Julia had died with her father. It had been joy. Trust had vanished afterward when she realized everything he’d told her about Roger was true. She hadn’t wanted to believe her father, had argued with him, fought with him. It was while they were shouting at each other that he’d suffered the heart attack that had prematurely claimed his life.
Joy had faded from her soul that afternoon, replaced by guilt. In the years since, she’d made a semicom-fortable life for herself. She wasn’t happy, nor was she unhappy. She buried herself in her work, the desire to succeed propelling her forward, dictating her actions. Her goal was to undo the damage Roger had done to the company. First she would rebuild Conrad Industries to its former glory and then continue on the course her father had so carefully charted.
She was making progress, not only with the company, but with her life. Encouraged by Ruth, Julia was just beginning to recapture some of the enthusiasm she’d lost. She could laugh occasionally, even joke every now and then.
It had seemed impossible that she’d ever again feel anything but the weight of her sadness. Then, without being aware of the transformation, she realized she was feeling again, and it had started after her marriage to Alek.
Now here she was, trapped in pain and fear, and it was too soon. Much too soon.
“Come.” Alek took her by the shoulders.
She followed because she didn’t have the strength to resist. Leaning forward, she kissed Ruth’s cheek and felt the tears run down her own.
Alek gently guided his wife from the hospital room. He kept his arm around her, wanting to lend her his strength. She would never admit she needed him, never confess she was pleased he’d come to be with her. He’d been at the airport that afternoon, dealing with the Immigration people, working out the final details of his sister’s entry into the country. He’d been torn between his duty to his sister and Julia.
Alek found he was weary of this constant battle between them. She fought him at every turn, cheated him out of her love. Yet he’d begun to love her and was more determined than ever to win her heart.
He knew only bits and pieces of the past. Even Jerry seemed reluctant to discuss Julia’s relationship with Roger Stanhope.
Whenever his friend mentioned the other man’s name, Jerry’s mouth tightened and anger flashed in his eyes. Because he was often so involved with his own work, Alek couldn’t interact with other staff members as much as he would’ve liked. Recently he’d made a point of doing so.
Over lunch that afternoon, he’d casually dropped Roger Stanhope’s name and was astounded by the abrupt silence that fell over the small gathering.
“If you want to know about Roger, just ask Julia,” someone suggested.
It sounded like an accusation, which puzzled Alek. From the little he was able to surmise, Roger had been blamed for the fire, although presumably nothing was proven or he’d be in jail. Questions abounded. The answers, like so much else in his marriage, would come with time.
Julia was silent on the ride from the hospital to their home. Alek led her into the condo and toward the guest bedroom, where she chose to sleep.
She sat on the edge of the bed like a lifeless doll.
“Would you like some help undressing?” he asked her.
She shook her head. “No, thanks.”
He left her, but not because he wanted to.
Venturing into the kitchen, he made a pot of tea. Julia needed something hot and sweet. When the tea had finished steeping, he returned to her room and knocked lightly on the door.
“Come in.”
She’d changed clothes and was dressed in a sexless pair of cotton pajamas.
“I made tea.” He carried in a cup and saucer, and set them on the nightstand by her bed.
She stared at the cup as if she’d never seen anything like it before.
“I don’t know if you remember, but I told you yesterday that my sister was arriving this afternoon. I was at the airport meeting Anna and then drove her to my old apartment. That’s why I couldn’t come to the hospital until late. Anna will be here tomorrow morning.”
“Why are you so good to me? I don’t deserve it…not after the way I’ve treated you. Not after the things I’ve said.”
He had no answer for her because the truth would only enhance her distress. He loved her as any husband loved his wife. In time she’d recognize and accept it. But she wasn’t ready yet.
Alek peeled back the covers of her bed and fluffed up the pillow. She stood behind him, her breathing labored, as if she was struggling not to weep.
“Alek.” His name was a mere whisper. “Would you mind…would you sleep with me tonight? Just this once?”
The desire that invaded his body came as a greater shock than her request. From the first night of their marriage, Alek had been waiting for her to voluntarily invite him to her bed. He hadn’t imagined it would happen this way, when she was emotionally distraught.
In the same instant, Alek recognized that she wasn’t offering him her body. She was seeking his comfort. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it was a small step in the right direction and he’d take whatever Julia was willing to give him.
He reached for her hand, kissed her fingers and then moved to the doorway where he switched off the light. Darkness filled the room. He heard the mattress squeak as she slipped beneath the sheets. Then he walked back to the bed, stripped off his clothes and joined her.
It was the sweetest torture he’d ever known to have Julia move into his waiting arms. She cuddled her soft, feminine body against his, molding herself against him, her satiny smooth leg brushing his. She released one long sigh as her head nestled on his chest and was instantly asleep.
Asleep.
Alek grinned mockingly to himself and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He listened to the even sound of her breathing and after a few moments, kissed the crown of her head.
So this was to be his lot. Comforter. Not lover or husband, but consoler. His body throbbed with wanting her. Holding her so close, yet unable to really touch her, was the purest form of torment Alek had ever endured.
He didn’t sleep and was grateful he hadn’t, because Julia stirred suddenly, apparently trapped in a nightmare. She thrashed around until he managed to hold her down.
“No,” she sobbed and twisted away from him. Her nails dug into his flesh.
“Julia,” he whispered, “wake up. It’s just a dream.”
She raised her head from the pillow, looked into his eyes and frowned. Rubbing a hand over her face, she looked again as though she expected him to have disappeared.
“It’s all right,” he whispered soothingly. “I’m here.”
He could feel her heart racing. Her eyes met his in the darkness and he saw her confusion. It was on the tip of his tongue to remind her she’d invited him into her bed. But he didn’t. Instead he plowed his fingers into the thickness of her hair and brought her mouth to his.
She welcomed his kiss without hesitation, without restraint, moaning. She flattened her palms against his chest, then sighed when they’d finished kissing. A sigh that spoke of satisfaction. And confusion.
His body was on fire, but he didn’t press her for more. She snuggled against him and draped her arm around him, nestling back into their original position. Her hand was restless as it leisurely roamed across his chest.
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